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Demonbaby: Friday, January 09, 2004subscribe to demonbaby

Irresistible dating prospects from THE GOTHIC PERSONALS!

As collective internet addiction pulls society ever further away from tangible human contact, online dating sites - and online dating sites that pretend they aren't online dating sites to make you feel like less of a loser (read: myspace) - are soaring in popularity. And although most lonely folks are content to search through the normal personals sites, you may not realize that there are people out there with special needs, who are looking for dates within their own unique world. So inevitably, you can now find specialized personals sites for old people, fat chicks ("abundant love" - best name ever), double-jointed fat chicks (i shit you not), retards (go there for a laugh, and condemn yourself to hell as i have), Bible thumpers, female prison inmates (i own a couple videos on this subject), hicks, recovering alcoholics, truckers ("papa bear seeking cub in stall 5"), people with painful sores on their genitals (*giggle*), music snobs (as if friendster wasn't bad enough), computer geeks (priceless), people who think they're soooooo fucking smart, tall people, stupid rich motherfuckers (aren't you so special), and even philanderers. Now, I would think that some of these sites are targeting such a specific market that the dating pool must end up like an episode of Friends - the same six people hooking up in different combinations.



But the point is, none of these sites could possibly compare to the wealth of entertainment I had the incredible fortune of stumbling upon yesterday: A massive database of hilarious walking cliches, THE GOTHIC PERSONALS. Folks, this is almost too easy. This material writes itself. However, I am going to take candy from the baby and highlight some of the amazing people you could be lucky enough to meet on this extraordinary site...



First, though, an introduction: The Gothic Personals operate more or less like MySpace and Friendster - you have a little profile, you browse other peoples' profiles, you send each other messages, you meet up in a graveyard, etc etc. But if you're on The Gothic Personals you're not an average Joe. You're a special person with special needs, so your profile has some very unique options. There are specific fields to let people know how many tattoos you have, how many piercings you have (and where), your style of dress (there are options for black, light black, and dark black), what particular fetishes you might have (i was surprised to see "biting" appear quite often), if you're transgendered or not (a good thing to know before a date!), and most importantly, what type of goth you are.



"Now wait a minute," you're saying, "there are different types of goths? I thought they were all equally retarded!" Well how wrong you are, my friend! According to The Gothic Personals, there are TWELVE different types of goths: GlamGoth (black sparkles?), GlitterGoth (read: tori amos fan), PunkGoth (mix genres to maximize your clothing selection at hot topic), BabyGoth (i don't want to know), CorporateGoth (have to wear long sleeves to cover their scratch marks at the office), ElderGoth (remembers seeing joy division live, hasn't changed outfits since), MopeyGoth (isn't that all of them?), RomantiGoth (the most prolific of goth poets), Mansonite (still grasping on), VampyreGoth (so goth, they spell it with a "y"), and, my favorite, GangstaGoth.



And much like on MySpace, your profile can have its own brief headline to tell your would-be suitors a little bit about you. All you have to do is browse through the profile headlines on this site to get a taste of what you're in for. Here's a sampling of ACTUAL headlines from real profiles on The Gothic Personals. No, I did NOT make these up:



"Vampire tired of stalking the night myself."

"Of Dark Things and Midnight Places..."

"i wanna give abortions..."

"Razorblade smiles and bloody kisses."

"Dance with the Dead in my dreams."

"Bleeding, Intombed...Painted Like The Forgotten Sea's..."
(nice spelling, jackass)

"Now the darkness gathers... now the light is gone.."

"If it but herald death, the vision is divine."

"Melt the ice and start the black fires."

And, by far my favorite:

"i've got a date at midnight...with nosferatu!"



Ooooooh! Spoooooky!!



So without further ado, let's meet some of the fantastic folks you could be lucky enough to date on The Gothic Personals!



First up: Sub Zero
Goth Type: RomantiGoth




Take a look at those (apparently) home made spikey purple armbands! He's all set for his D&D match tonight! What I appreciate about Sub Zero is his knack for color coordination. The hair, the armbands, AND the spooky pagan wall hangings all match! No need to call the Fab Five in on this boy. But aside from being devilishly handsome and a maven of style, Sub Zero will also lure you in with some beautiful poetry. He writes:

"The Dark times here and alone, Not sure where to roam, needed one to call my own, one that silence the lonleyness and stoke the fires of passion, Looking for one that sees the night, With eyes of pure delight, One that sees the same as me, as graves and tombs as a place to be free, Leather and lace, the pure embrace, the vangs of a dark soul as lonley as me, one that can simply be unique as thee, if you feel that you are the one, IM me and let the fun run, come to me and I will awaken, Kindred nights and days complete and done, walk with me and you will see, the darkness comes to all and to all to enjoy with thee."



You see, people? This shit writes itself.



Mingster
Goth Type: ElderGoth







Yes, that's a man.


Mingster is, tragically, the father of two children, and some of his favorite bands include Clan of Xymox and Feindflug. He lists his religion as "the religion of celibacy," which is a pro-active way of saying "no one wants to have sex with me, ever." Gee Mingster, maybe girls would like you a bit more if you weren't actually...








...CHER!!

Yes, Cher, I've found you out. I know things have been hard since Sonny died, but do you really need to disguise yourself and shop for women on The Gothic Personals? Then again, I guess it's not surprising considering Cher's history in the world of Dungeons & Dragons (CLICK THIS LINK!).




Anyway, let's meet...


Lordeberon
Goth Type: VampyreGoth


Ladies and gentlemen, the crowned prince of douchebags! Lordeberon is, as you can see, actually a demonic spirit from the pits of Hell, and only through the anonymity of online personals could he possibly reveal his true form! He describes himself thusly: "I am a lost and lonley soul, doomed to wander this life in agony. I have searched in vain through the valley of eternal night for others like me. The razor can only cut so deep....." The cliche-o-meter is off the scale here, people. Again I remind you, I am not making any of this up. I know, I wouldn't believe me either, but seriously.





Kill
Goth Type: "Other" (cop out!)




Kill fancies himself a blacksmith some day (much as the blacksmiths from days of olde forged the shimmering daggers which struck the blackened hearts of vampyres!), and you can see his exquisite craftsmanship in the picture above. Kill has made himself a really tough-looking crossbow using junk parts from his Dad's tool shed. Notice the price sticker on the shaft that he's tried unsuccessfully to scrape off. Pretty scary weapon, Kill! But is it tough enough to break through Sub Zero's impenetrable spikey purple armor? I guess we'll have to wait until the renaissance fair to find out. Kill has a good "Trenchcoat Mafia" look to him. I can totally see him busting into a classroom at his high school and hacking up his teacher with a battle axe forged out of a garden hoe.


Angelfalleth
Goth Type: VampyreGoth




Nice picture, dumbass. What is she, crawling around the forest in search of newt's eye for her magic spells? It looks like she's waiting for her cat to eat out her ass. Angelfalleth is "searching for a great horned beast or dark princess to share my nights with." She's also "well skilled in all aspects of witchcraft and other magicks" (ooooooh!), and is an ex stripper. Oh, and she usually carries "brass knuckles in my bra and a dagger in my boot." You know, in case she gets attacked by a pack of werewolves in the food court on the way to Hot Topic. Her fetishes are listed as: "likes to play bondage fairies." Apparently she forgot to mention "feline analingus."


DrDeath
Goth Type: (he left it blank, because he's far too much of an individual to be broken down into cheap classifications)




It really doesn't get any better than this dude. That is a fucking work of art, right there. Ladies, how could you resist a face like that? DrDeath describes himself as "...nothing more than flesh, just like you. I have hopes always ending in nothing, just like you too. My feelings are possibly nothing to you. Your feelings are possibly nothing to me too, all depends on who." Whoooaaah, slow down there Dr. Seuss. I'll bet his hopes of getting laid always end in nothing, too.


Kymus
Goth Type: CorporateGoth



Now, Kymus may look like your run-of-the-mill Marilyn Manson concert patron, but there's more to this catch than meets the eye...



...He also knows KUNG-FU!!



This is Kymus in the "Green Dragon Pose" from his website, which I encourage you to visit for more great photos of his lethal ninja action, and also photos of his mom's flower garden.


Wolfmaster55
Goth Type: "Other" (there wasn't an option for "33YearOldVirginGoth")




Ladies and Gentlemen... THE GOTHMULLET. Now I know Wolfie here isn't exactly Brad Pitt, but could he perhaps, at the very least, maybe find a photo with his fucking EYES open?? Wolfie, you're trying to sell yourself to the voluptuous black-clad vixens of the world here, and you're really starting off on a low note. And what's with the puffy face? He looks like a wax sculpture at one of those third-rate wax museums you find in towns like Orlando, where people will start up anything to piggyback off major tourist attractions like DisneyWorld. You know, right next door to the "Fun Town Amusement Park," with its weathered miniature golf course, and one dismal white trash family from nothern Florida trying their best to have fun on their vacation because they can't afford DisneyWorld tickets.


Or maybe this picture was taken while he was in the midst of jacking off to Suicide Girls for the fourth time today.


Anyway, the Wolfmaster gets right to the point, describing himself as an adult male who has "never been kissed". He continues, "Big stinking deal, OK, was raised on traditional values!!" Wow. Bitter, party of one? He also describes himself as "a frequent 'Astral Traveler.'" Well, I hope he "travels" to the barber shop sometime soon to get that dead muskrat removed from his head. You know, all this guy is missing is a pepperoni spattering of acne to really round out his raw sex appeal.


Also, someone please call up Kittie and tell them we've found the one person who still buys their albums. They've been wondering who it was.


Forest-Troll
Goth Type: VampyreGoth


I fucking love this picture. Gaze upon Forest-Troll's divine wickedness as he beckons you into his mansion of the undead! I'm going to step out on a limb here and guess that his look was just a tad inspired by Trent Reznor, circa 1997:


Hey girls, put on your best fishnets, because Forest-Troll "will be visiting northern New Jersey and was wondering if some kind ladies might be able to show me around to some night clubs or take me for a moonlight stroll through a graveyard or two?" Oh for fuck's sake...

Some of Forest-Troll's favorite bands include Demise, Acid Bath, Cephalic Carnage, Cannibal Corpse, Dying Fetus, Goatwh*re, Vital Remains, Devourment, Eyehategod, Waco Jesus, and Crematorium. Okay, now, I like to think of myself as open-minded when it comes to music, but the truth is I'm not. At all. If you listen to bands called "Dying Fetus" and "Goatwh*re," you are a complete fucking tool.


Petitelolita
Goth Type: "Other"


Hey, she's kind of cute... Oh. Wait. It's a DUDE.

If Petitelolita's gender confusion doesn't entice you, perhaps he can lure you in with his vibrant personality. This is an exact quote: "im avid collector of stuff!" Really? Stuff? That's interesting, because I collect DOUCHEBAGS, and rarely have I seen a finer specimen.

Takeitall000
Goth Type: "Other" (damnit, people! classify yourselves!)


What I like about Takeitall is his brutal honesty. Instead of attempting creepy, mysterious gothic prose like everyone else, his headline cuts right to the chase: "Pathetic computer geek seeking love tool." It really says that. The picture is apparently of his band, "Anomaly," whose musical prowess is rivaled only by their cutting edge graphic design skills.


Skarygrl (incredibly accurate nickname)
Goth Type: PerkyGoth


Skarygrl's headline is: "Come into my world... bring your goggles." Um... my goggles? Do you mean my beer goggles, fatty? Because I'm gonna need 'em.

When she's not getting make up tips from the guy who runs the face painting booth at the county fair, Skarygrl enjoys listening to Tori Amos (surprise!) and practicing S&M. Her profile begins with an A, B, C list of guidelines you must follow if you are going to contact her. It reads like a diary of every bad relationship she's been in - "no cheaters, no liars, no shallow conceited bastards," etc. I guess her double chin isn't the only baggage she's carrying. She closes the list by writing, "That's me in a nutshell. I know I probably sound like Hitler with a vagina right now, but I'm actually very affectionate and caring, and I'd give you the shirt off my back if it would help." Shhhh... You had me at "Hitler with a vagina." ...And please, keep your shirt ON.


Panthedragon
Goth Type: (he left it blank, because he's not a goth, he's a mystical creature. duh!)

What's nice about The Gothic Personals is that you aren't limited only to humans in your dating selections. As you can see, the troll and demon population really has a commanding presence here, and I for one am glad that these long-alienated minorities are finally gaining the opportunity for widespread acceptance.


When Pan isn't busy waiting for children to get lost in the forest so he can eat them, he's also a visionary artist: "My art is of nudes in spaces of structural decay." Really? Because no one has ever done that before. Pan also organizes and hosts BDSM "dungeon parties," and for a good laugh I highly recommend checking out the list of rules for attending these unique events. You know it's a party when you have to sign a form promising you won't pee on anyone while playing in the dungeon.



Lightwave
Goth Type: "Other"





OH MY GOD!! Behold, ye mortals! He has captured the magickal life energy of the Spirits Of Darkness in a glowing Orb of Power, and he's absorbing it into his stomach! Ooooooaaaaah!!


Fallenpoet
Goth Type: CorporateGoth

I love this guy because he's so adorably out of place. How on earth could Dilbert here expect to ever compete on any level with all of his leather-clad, horn-bearing, sword-wielding peers in the race for the heart of a gothic princess? He's really just lacking an "edge" of some sort; I'm not sure if it's the Gap sweater or the Old Navy khakis or the goofy grin, but something's definitely holding him back. He kind of looks like one of the people in those ads for community college where they have pictures of smiling, successful, multi-ethnic nerds standing together, representing the college's "success stories." They're always folding their arms like that, all smug and confident with their community college degrees, eagerly awaiting their lifetime careers as management assistants at some nondescript office building in suburbia. 45 years old and racking up $30K. Driving a Kia. Actually, I can see this dude working at Kinko's. He's a "photoduplication technician," or something. Which means he makes copies. Like how the people who make your food at Subway are called "sandwich artists," to make them feel a tiny bit better about themselves as they methodically squirt mayonnaise all over a pile of cold cuts three hundred times a day. And it's odd that I mention Subway, because Fallenpoet here looks a tad bit like Jared. Post-Subway Jared, that is.


Rednarcissus
Goth Type: RomantiGoth


No, your eyes do not deceive you. That is indeed a man. Rednarcissus apparently had a provocative photo shoot in the changing room shower at the YMCA. The raw sexual energy is overpowering. Nice fucking tutu. Better yet, though, here he is as Maid Marion, the lady fair:



That is a piss-poor attempt at looking like a woman, dude. It looks like a bad fraternity stunt.

"Oh, who will save such a fair lady from the evil forest troll? Will not any brave warrior step forward and do battle with this vile beast, and win ye the heart of a gentle maiden?"


Fear not, Maid Marion!...


...It's Demonknight to the rescue!
Goth Type: "Other"



"Stand down, beasts of the forest, for I am Demonknight, valiant guardian of the soda bottles in my mom's kitchen! May fear strike your black hearts as you gaze upon my butterfly calendar!"


Between this dumbass, the trolls, kung fu boy, the guy with the spear, and the dude with the glowing orb, I've practically got a whole deck of Magic cards put together at this point.


I could probably keep going forever, but I'll bring my article to a close with one last profile, the only "GangstaGoth" I encountered during my time on The Gothic Personals...


Cancer
Goth Type: GangstaGoth


This one is the fucking best. His headline is "Is There Something Wrong With Me?" Well, yes. For one thing, you're a fucking chode. For another thing, when in the Christ did goths and gangstas get together? Did I miss the memo about that? Look at how fucking straight hip-hop he is, flashin' his Benjamins. And yet goth, at the same time.

The mind reels...

Labels:

146 Comments:

Blogger Severus said...

...and the winner is...
Fallenpoet!

5:54 AM  
Anonymous Avea said...

holy crap that is hilarious :)

11:48 AM  
Anonymous Derek C. F. Pegritz said...

To quote Strong Bad, "Holy Crap! That Lightwave dude looks like one of the creepy virus guys from the Tron 2.0 videogame! He's about to fire a Zotob worm up someone's punk ass!"

7:31 PM  
Anonymous Fallenpoet said...

Fucking hilarious, and brave too: I wouldn´t like having Dr Death waiting for me to get home with a home-made axe...

8:05 AM  
Anonymous Xerochance said...

Oh Man, I woke my girlfriend up laughing at your site and now shes all pissed. My face hurts from laughing and I can't see for tears.

Thankyou, i havent had such fun on the Interwebs for ages.

4:37 AM  
Anonymous iingemar said...

Hahaha! :D great.

1:56 AM  
Anonymous mike said...

OMFG__

I think I peed my pants-- at least four times.

insane........

11:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Holy cow that was uproarious!

2:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

er...aren't you supposed to put appealing pictures of yourself on personals sites? i personally love the goth gangsta :) actually this post has helped me. i will never be dissatisfied with my boyfriend again :)

1:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you look into it, Type O Negative said "I've got a date at midnight with Nosferatu" in Black No.1. You don't understand goth, you probably cower at putting on makeup because your dicks's so small you'd be confused for a female. Not secure in your sexuality are you? What makes you so normal? I hope your loved ones are ripped to shreds by goths, and I hope you die a malicious and malformed death.

11:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That guy above me is a douche. I listen to pretty much all of the above goth music, but i don't consider myself goth. Besides, that collection of bedwetters you just posted is PRICELESS.

10:18 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I didn't say listing to music made you anything, cock smoker. I was correcting an error made by the moron who made this post. But obviously you're too busy sucking your own dick to read properly.

9:51 PM  
Anonymous Katie Mae said...

This is beautiful...I came in at the perfect time on this comment bulletin! This is one of the funniest things I've ever seen, and I hate to say it (well...no, not really), but "Anonymous" folks like the one directly above, who take themselves so seriously only accentuate the hilarity!! Oh, you people are awesome, I needed a laugh... Loved it!!

1:36 PM  
Anonymous Katie Mae said...

By the way...call me naive, but what the hell is a cock smoker? And if I were a man and could perform the kind of Cirque de Soleil contortions that Obnoxious Anonymous accuses Laid-Back Anonymous of, I would be rather proud. Of course, I'm quite content with my average female flexibility.

1:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I suppose you could call me old school goth. But that's just f**kin funny!

3:16 PM  
Anonymous Khlayr said...

its exam week
ive been studying for hours
this made me laugh so hard i couldnt breath
my roommates now hate me for being loud
but i love this

6:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

These types of people are what gives the rest of the population a bad name. Some of us just want to listen to music, go to clubs, and work our jobs, hang out with our friends, and do the same shit that everyone else on the fucking planet does...but when we have such an awesome representation online *rolls eyes*, no WONDER people think we're all freaks. ;p

3:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Then don't label yourself & just do what the fuck you want, simple really hey?

But please don't stop the online stuff because it creates so much happiness for people like me who will sit and laugh at your 'angst ridden' friends. We get bored at work too you know!

7:57 PM  
Anonymous Daf said...

My god! I don't know whether to laugh or cry for those people. That is terrible and hilarious at the same time. Cheers for giving me something to think about.

11:52 AM  
Anonymous Shane in Charlotte said...

Re: GangstaGoth - I think there's a total of about 110 bux in that picture. Since when do straight up g's roll with single dollars?

Also, shame on you for not recognizing the only ethnic goth on the board. When will the Afrogoths get their due recognition? Always gotta be about the white devil.

Re: Angelfalleth - I thought angels were like Weeblos in that they wobbleth, but they don't falleth down. She also has a gang tatt teardrop beside her eye. She offed someone with a head shot, yo.

Re: Lightwave - looks like Michael Stipe is gaining back some of his pre-vegan weight.

9:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you must have an extreamly low self esteem to find putting down people that have done nothing to you amusing.its quite obvious your insecure with your own sexuallity as that is a prominant humiliation point in you article.I dont hate you i pity you.

8:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

oh god this made me laugh for hours. i think shane in charlotte has a point- the mans been keeping the afrogoths down for too long. its tough to rise through the threshold of racial barriers tho, when all you got is 110 bucks in your pocket, cuz you spent all your allowance money on those cheesey leather arm cuffs W/ spikes at hot topic.

oh and for whoever this uptight "anonymous" tool is, no one is forcing you to read anything. if you dont like it , dont read it! is someone sitting there with you, taping your eyelids open? forcing you to read this? i got news for you! your talking about goths having freedom of expression?? well guess what?? EVERYONE HERE is using their freedom of expression. Stop being a hypocrite and a self righteous douchebag. people like you ruin life.

7:06 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This was hilarious, and the humor was obviously well thought out....I laughed for hours.


Oh, and to the person that was offended.....lighten up, I play RPGs, go to renfaires, and consider myself goth and I can step back and look at the situation and laugh at myself.

2:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That was lovely! I enjoyed reading it!

12:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That was hilarious, and definitely, the goth dating community was begging for it. But- your brand of humor was so engaging, I was disgusted when you referred to the Skarygirl (sp?) as "fatty." Not because I think it's mean or that it's gonna erode Skary and her ilk's self esteem further, but c'mon, low blows on people's weight are beneath you. You had more than enough to go on with the fatalism, narcissism, and tragic fashion choices. Take out the obvious remarks & you're golden.

12:38 AM  
Blogger Scott said...

LOL@ this I posted the link to my msn group and we have had a great time laughing at these *goths*. LOL Goth is such a loose term these days, it is pathetic! And wtf is with these ugly men trying to look like women?....No offense but if you are ugly as a man, think seriously about dressing as a woman. Alas, I have had such a good time showing people this site I can;' begin to tell you . Everyone loves it! There is a great sense of sarcasm that I find *unique* and I appreciate it. The weird thing *goth* is , it became a freaking household word. And every loser and their dog became a goth. No matter what they liked music wise or how they dressed (ie : the metal guy up on top there thnking black metal and lord fo the rings are goth!)
They need a damn wake up call from a clan of batcavers to bitch slap them into gothism!...!!!Hello!
The truth is if you consider your self a goth (which seems embarrasing for people to do these days)you don't need to splay yourself in a goth *site* to prove it.It's like that whole Vampire.com rate my gothness crap. What a damn joke!!it's so cliche.
It's hilarious tho...truly hilarious that these people are actuallly expecting dates out of this.And that they truly beleive they are the ultimate *goths*, hmmmm....ROTFLMFAO......I guess they could always hook up with eachother!

3:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

*lol, tears streaming down face* OMG! I think I shit myself! Thank you so very much!

12:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

this is hilarious.
you have a lot of time on your hands, don't you?

nice though.

11:43 PM  
Anonymous usagi said...

it's fucking good. I have laught a lot!

7:24 AM  
Anonymous Jo said...

I think these people are the reason why so many Dutch goths by now are calling themselves new wave, punk or anything else for that matter, as long as it's not "goth". I don't even know what to call myself anymore. I'll just keep it at "me". Jeez. Gotta say though, that corporate bloke made my heart melt; that was downright cute.

7:02 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

AHHAHAHHAA!!!

the cher touch is actually quite funny :D

but, it's a shame you obviously dont appreciate the humour side of it all though...

oh, by the way, this is Mingster...

2:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

not so much cher as boy george really...

9:15 PM  
Anonymous robinvon said...

thank you very much! you fucking ...!
you are the reason why i have to change my underwear, not the first time. gothics are the best!
it is fantastic...

3:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

yeee-heee-heeee, that last one is my EX-ROOMMATE!!!!!!!!!

and yeah, he really is that much of a chode. the guy next to him deals meth.

7:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fuck me, that is hilarious! That is for all the stupid 'creatures of the night' I've ever met that can't even spell 'damned'!

8:04 AM  
Blogger Solomon Grundy said...

This is very funny at times, but you don't quite understand that many of these goths have a sense of humor about themselves.

But some of them, sadly, really do not.

7:38 PM  
Anonymous _w.ren* said...

you're better then maddox.

8:16 PM  
Anonymous Steve said...

I want to join this site simply to make fun of the idiots who use it...

Kind of like myspace.

8:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

PLEEEEAAAAASSSSSSSSEEEEEEE fixxx the retard link, i havn't been able to find a date in years.

3:06 PM  
Anonymous Megan said...

BAHAHA, that was so funny...

8:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Haha, this made my day...nice one!



I love how the people who get offended always say you're not comfortable with your own sexuality...but really its just you making fun of people who look and act like complete fucking morons, it has nothing to do with sexual preference.

1:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ah, all of those made me chuckle but cancer took the bill.

3:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

lol!
Cheers mate, what a winning peice of research....!

5:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

so, is this a gay gothic thing? you have no female specimen.

1:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Holy crap.

Reading your blog pretty much made me piss my pants.

Thanks for completing my life.

hahaha
<3Ashley

3:41 PM  
Anonymous GlasDraenog said...

OMFG. As a wearer of fishnet and cloaks and corsets myself, even I've seen some pretty bad specimens of "goth" when going out (although, its hard to not laugh at them in person). Some of these fucking take the cake... I Hate the pretentiousness of "Oh... I'm the prince of darkness" Dude. You're life probably sucks no more then anyone else's so quit living a fantasy. Spend more time in the real world and quit giving right-wing religious tools the power from your stupid malaise and wasting time on your makeup and having your picture taken... Its about fun, not 'gother than thou'...

Oh, and quit ragging on the guy for doing what I'm pretty damn sure all of you have done at one point or another... whether its ragging on the future-soccer-mom sweater set, goths, emos, or that weird kid in the corner. Humans are a judgemental species. get over it.

8:20 AM  
Anonymous Pinklilith said...

I have to say I have nothing against goths, most of the ones I know are pretty cool, but these guys are the ones that even the normal goths won't accept. They are just plain weird. Theres something dubious about someone who has to go to a goth dating agency to get someone. Isn't that what clubs are for? I found my long-haired hooligan in a rock club. Its much more fun.

2:08 AM  
Anonymous meghan said...

thanks, i still can't stop laughing!!!!

10:10 AM  
Anonymous B said...

I'm a bit late, but who dismisses compliments? Good work.

8:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Freekin' Brilliant! Comedy gold!

8:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are so talented! Congratulations. So much laughter... you're like santa claus with a sac full o' gifts. I loved it. I tell everyone to check out the Myspace hair awards. Keep the good stuff coming!

4:32 PM  
Anonymous Lauren said...

lmfao this was fantastic. I don't even know what to say. I'm sending it to everybody.

9:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The best part of the article is... I'm listed on the page. ROFL... I love that shit....
ydobon.

2:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The best part of the article is... I'm listed on the page. ROFL... I love that shit....
ydobon.

2:35 AM  
Anonymous Ex-Goth said...

BWAHAHAHA...HAAAaaaa...
I got a pain in my chest... And I can't breathe... Ha haaa...

Oh god. It's funny cause I remember when I used to be on those personals!

Two words: Awe. Some.

6:55 PM  
Blogger Mom said...

I fucking hurt myself on this one. HOLY SHIT!!!!

2:13 PM  
Anonymous EV said...

"VampyreGoth (so goth, they spell it with a "y")"
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Vampyre

12:29 AM  
Anonymous t3h Dani said...

Awwww Chucky... I'm sorry you suck!

4:35 PM  
Anonymous Unobtainable One said...

He's not a "gangsta-goth"... though it is a term I might use soon. Cancer is metal. Pure, fucking metal.

6:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

there are a great deal of people out there...who shud not be roaming freely without supervision, il think twice about leaving the door unlocked...

3:28 PM  
Anonymous cassi said...

this is the funniest shit.i just ran across this page..u know, at fetus mart, looking for a fetus to adopt.well, i have to say, fuck, where has thsi been all of my online life?and, can i get a date w he commentator.the snide muther fucker.

11:57 PM  
Anonymous YOtapette said...

will you marry me and read this at our wedding? oh and also having a slide projector with these hotass pictures will be necessary.

hahahahahahahhaa

loveee it

7:01 PM  
Blogger Lord Baddkitty said...

For the "Crabby Anonymous Goth": Dude, if you make a career out of defending yourself, that's all you'll have out of life. Sounds like you need to get laid.

Otherwise, this whole page kicks ass and is a total delight. If you can't make fun of yourself and your beliefs, you don't really believe in yourself or your beliefs. Loosen up a little. We're all retards, it just depends who's doing the looking.

And for the lady with the female flexibility... um, can i have your number?

Peace.

7:28 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That was so great, but I would definately hit on the goth gangsta. Tap that

5:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That was so great, but I would definately hit on the goth gangsta. Tap that

5:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

oh dear, i took the picture of kung fu boy at dracula's ball in philly. you're welcome.

5:59 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you win....

1 Intra server
20 intrawebs
and 10000 internets

10:43 AM  
Anonymous Alison said...

Wow, thanks for the laugh. That was amazing. I almost cried, I laughed so hard. You're brilliant.

1:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, i hope these comments don't go to your head, people think you are some god now.

It was pretty funny though. You can't beat the first myspace hair awards

12:29 AM  
Blogger Levizzle said...

Wow I don't know which is funnier the goths taking themselves so seriously in the blogs, or the guy in his mom's kitchen trying to look like that guy from Final Fantasy. These people gotta lighten up...I'm a republican at a liberal arts school and i've learned you need be able to laugh at yourself once in awhile. Just watch the South Park episode "Here comes the neighborhood" it'll explain everything. If i can accept that the guy i voted for is kind of an idiot than goths should be able to see how juvenile these people are.

3:09 PM  
Blogger Honey Bunny said...

this is awesome. as a reformed goth, i laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed some more.

so, uh....how do i get our profile removed from that site? talk about embarassing! i forgot my husband even had one up there! he did it in 2003 (i think?) awesome.

at least i can laugh at myself (and others). and i'm the only normal looking person there. god, i hate 'goth'. what was i thinking?

ps) love your site.

6:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you have a lot of time on your hands, don't you, mate?
i love the pics, GO YOU!
Slainte for the entertainment
it made the sickday go by a lot faster

4:37 PM  
Blogger Heather said...

Whenever I read responses to posts such as this, I really wish that we could destroy psychology as an academic discipline. I'm sick and tired of watching mornons on the internet attempt analyze someone else's motives--'you're just insecure about your sexuality', etc. etc.

With all that aside, I don't care about goths one way or another--but I'm always down for picking on dating sites.

1:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You're all fags who love to suck on their own dicks and pretend that they are sucking their father's dicks...


...Just kidding, you interwebers and you anonymous shit talk, so funny...

Anyways, this shit is hilarious. And I understand goth very, very well. In fact I love to wear eyeliner and black clothes, listen to death metal and NIN, and all that great shit, but damn son. You've represented here the kind of people who make up 99% of the goth world. The self-proclaimed non-conformists who all dress the same and listen to the same music and write gay poems about death and yet are too big of pussies to actually kill themselves so they just scar themselves up.

Goth is a fashion trend. A fashion statement, if you will, and nothing more. I wear black because I look damn sexy doing it. I wear eyeliner because I look damn sexy doing it. I listen to death metal and NIN, because, well, it's fucking awesome music. These goth-tards claim to be "this way" because they hate the abercrombie/american eagle 'culture of clothing.' DUH! THAT'S WHAT GOTH IS!

Please dude, please, find more of this and show it to us.

1:18 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

wow what can u say, it's so funny but some of these ppl are just begging to be kicked in the face, look at them

2:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

fallenpoet your a douche, if anyone that i made fun of came to my house because of something i said on the internet i dont think i could stop laughing. dr death go suck a dick u fkn douche

2:17 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, she's kind of cute... Oh. Wait. It's a DUDE.

Holy shit, I wish I could say I didn't have the exact same reaction, but I did. Nice work, mate.

1:39 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is so freaking funny, I'm in tears. More!!

11:46 AM  
Anonymous Jolly Vodka said...

I've been reading the comments (yes, all of them) and I thought...It's a small internet world isn't it?

Like seriously, half of the goths mentioned have supposedly replied to this, or someone who knows them has.

How bizarre.

1:49 AM  
Anonymous DeadSeraph said...

This is officially my favorite website ever. I demand you make fun of me so i can whore the results to all my friends.

7:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Was lying at home feeling like shit coz i'm ill when somebody sent me a link to this site...i laughed so hard and for so long that i now feel 200% better. Laughter really IS the best medecine! Thankyou thankyou thankyou!

7:06 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I havenet laughed this hard in a century....Freaking GangstaGoth...WTF

11:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

wow, my ex decided to go goth after we seperated, boy did I really miss out....Ill just bet shes happy dating these freaky boy dressed like a girl wanting to be a vampire types..lmfao

1:01 PM  
Anonymous DuckieAngel said...

I havent laughed so hard in ages. We even decided to have a party just so we can show off societies finest!!! Thanks

3:32 PM  
Anonymous Nick said...

roflrofl times a bagillion....
So this is what happens to people 30 years after they're fathers molested them, although they probably still get a few reacharounds at their family gatherings. I don't think all the spike they wear are from hot topic though, most of its probably part of the coat hanger from their failed abortion...if I knew i was gonna end up like that i would have aborted myself. The only thing that helps me sleep at night is knowing that none of them will ever reproduce due to their raging homosexuality

7:52 PM  
Anonymous Miss Linda said...

BRILLIANT!!! I absolutely love it... I dress "punk", but not retarded punk with crazy ass shite everywhere. I wear black but I ain't goth with lame makeup. Type O Negative is a great band as well, but damnit i love all of this hahaha
haters can hate.. because goths are quite possibly the worst subgenre i have ever encountered.

6:37 PM  
Anonymous Bene_elim said...

Jesus Christ. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse! I found that hilarious and will be sure to pass it onto other people.

3:27 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, just a matter of my opinion, but what gives with the dissing of Skarygrl. She's a pretty good looking young lady. I suppose you would go with some skeletal, anorexic, weak exuse for a female. I suppose the idea of her having a vagina frightened you. Aye, grow up!

1:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Friggen Goth Tools - its hillarious. We're non-conformist - dude your all wearing the same clothing, listening to the same music - um last time I checked thats all conforming.
I'm glad that you finally have a site where all you lozers can hook up and make lozer babies.
The internet is great too because it gives lozers like Goths and fat people a place to hook up with one another. Its soo funny.
I'm thinking about changing my career and going into make-up. I'm going to sell black eyeliner and with all you retarded Goths out there buying it - I'll be rich in a month.

7:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i hang around with a lot of goths and my god i swear this website is like the fucking goth bible or something, the only thing ur missing is the glowstick wielding 'cybergoth'! maybe thats what demonknight is carrying...or maybe he's just a cock :). this is hilarious, made my week :D

8:37 AM  
Anonymous SMcCandlish said...

Well, I'm pretty fucking goth, and this made me laugh so hard my face has turned red. Awesome. The best part is all the wanky goths flaming you for posting it, especially that guy who seems obsessed with other men's penises. Choice.

7:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OMG! This shit is hilarious! I cannot believe there are so many clueless people out there.

1:44 PM  
Anonymous Mo!!y said...

I grew up in the Los Angeles goth scene! Two of those profiles are people I KNEW so I had to take a better look!!! The pictures these goths posted on their profiles ARE flattering compared to them in the "flesh" - no pun intended, and some pictures were at least a decade old. Maybe I'll join and see if anyone offers me the "dark gift"... as long as they give me the reciept so I can exchange it... Thanks for the laugh!!

9:57 PM  
Anonymous Just a gurl said...

OMG !!! couldn't believe my eyes, that kinda stuff is simply unique hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
you know it did a far better work than sit-ups to my tummy hahahahahahahah keep the good work :)

3:41 PM  
Anonymous curious_little_nerd said...

Hey, ever thought of making a profile for fun??? Im going to, and im not goth...its gonna be fun to see what happens behind the goth scene...hehe...just gonna wait and watch...

9:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Demonknight is my new wallpaper!

9:01 AM  
Anonymous Omegaboot said...

Firstly, the weapon you identified as a crossbow in Kill's picture is actually a heavy-industrial mega-longsword. >_< You know, like those huge-ass swords in anime and stuff.

Secondly, yeah, what's with the dissing of Skarygrl? She didn't even look all that fat, really.

4:56 AM  
Anonymous janapix said...

ouchh!! my sides are SORE. youre friggin brilliant m8. serisouly.
this thing is gonna drive the goths underground muhaha. im sending it to all my friends. heh

12:12 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That has to be the fucking funniest thing ive ever read! I nearly wet myself about 5 times.

Anyone who has a problem with it can go to hell! Jesus, us people in England need a laugh sometimes.

5:16 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ahh, ridiculous!
Poor, poor Wolfie, LOL...I hope, somewhere on that site, he found SOMEONE to kiss him. Gah! Did he not understand the point of including a picture in his profile??

But I do have to agree with other posters and ask, what made you attack Skarygirl for being fat?

There's nothing wrong with a guy or girl who's a bit on the Chubb side...

but honestly. She doesn't even look it. And it's not like you had nothing else to work with. Because, c'mon...she looks like Pocahontas and Rainbow bright dropped acid and then reproduced.

Peacock-colored glitter extensions in your hair + makeup from Cats! + intense goth stare = idiotic photo.

Instead you just said "fatty!". Kinda dropped the ball on that one. Otherwise, A+

9:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bahahahhaa...cannot/stop/laughing.

4:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Very nice. I hope you feel good about yourself. Do you usually make a habbit of picking on lonely losers who have put up a profile because nobody in their community truly understood "The Crow"? Does it make you feel superior to ridicule an entire society of marginal idiots who spend their allowances on cloaks and blood capsules because they have no interest in being a participant in reality? Who are you to malign these alienated nerds who curse the fact they weren't born in the 16th century? You're lucky! You were born in the century you were suppose to born in. These dudes have to walk among us as anachronistic outcasts. Trust me, they never asked for such a fate. So how about showing a little consideration for these screwballs. What makes you so much better than Demonhunter? I don't see you out hunting demons! At least he's trying to do some good with the shit in his Dad's shed. What are you doing? Spending late night hours on the internet, giggling at the cyber-cries of eternal lonliness of men and women who, well into their adult years, still wish they could be vampires. Well... I won't have any of it. I'm standing up for the little guy and pooh-poohing this whole post. Shame on you! Maybe you should take a good look in the mirror.... and be glad at what you see, because most of these people don't see anything when they do it. Well, at least... they wish they didn't.

5:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh come on, just read Beladona from Pennsylvania's poem......

"In darkenss I dwell, and lothe the sun light still. I wish no more to be alone. But I find none to bring me absolution from my missery. . ."

They blatantly deserve it! hehe x

4:39 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

:P Lovely. I just found one of my ex boyfriends on the site! LOL. That was well worth the amusement.

2:43 PM  
Anonymous fuck-my-dead-carcass said...

that was soo fuckin hilarious. i almost pissed myself

12:53 PM  
Blogger rich said...

LMAO--GangstaGoth isn't very successful apparently--they only have like $215 in that pic--somebody must've just gotten their minimum wage paycheck cashed

11:28 AM  
Anonymous Krumm said...

Hehe some of it was really funny, but there seams to be some confusion about what a goth is supposed to be...
Someone should write some "How to be a true Goth" guidelines, because, to be honest, everyone says they are one, either because they listen to the music, dress in black and wear makeup or are just angry at the world.
And what is this obsession to belong into a certain kind of group, do you HAVE to be a goth or a punk or a "bling-bling yo yo bitchs" kind of guy? Can´t you just BE YOURSELF, for fucks sake...
I have friends that listen to goth music, they dress in black and all that, but they dont go around calling themselfs goths are excluding other ppl just because they are not weird enough, they are what they are and do what they like to do.
Heh life is strange isnt it?

2:27 PM  
Blogger Rock_maniac05 said...

haha... i'm using my sisters stupid blog name but i don't care...
as a "goth" (can't seem to be categorized as anything else... but not that into it as some) i find this very hilarious and stupid... i find these online "goths" ridiculous... can't believe people like this find themselves the least attractive to find a date online....or very intelligent for that matter

but yea.. thanks for the awesome blog... i will be sure to quote you from time to time to have something to write about in my xanga..

myspace sucks too!! omg i love what you said about it also..

alrighty thanks again!

5:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just laughed so hard that I fell out of my chair, which ordinarily wouldn't be a problem, except that I knocked my noggin against my desk. Still, it was so fucking worth it...

2:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I must send my soon-to-be ex there. Maybe she can finally find some sad, sad, sad goth love.

2:02 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't know about you, but I'd do a "gangsta-goth" any day.

7:53 PM  
Anonymous becca said...

if you ever happen to fall upon that website again and make a round 2 of this..
i figure you might want to take a look at this guy.

vaen93

he wins.

11:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

lyyke omgsh i was soo0o0o offendeded bcauze i am a gothic && lyyke they sholdnt mayke fun uv us jus bcauze we r diffrnt!1!1!!!!12!!21#?12 && wut iz wrong with marilin mansin!@?13?!2?1#>?@?#one12??/ i luv himmm!!12!!!11@17!1! omgsh go sukk ur own penis if u evn have on!@12!!@!11!@!21onetwo!21112!43!@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11


if you are offended,
then get a life.

10:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I loved the one about Mingster looking like Cher - hilarious!

1:11 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

THAT WAS FUCKIN HILARIOUS!!!! I ALMOST CRIED WHEN U COMPARED THAT DUDE TO CHER!!! HE LOOKS THE SAME!

ur posts r awesome, keep up the good work

8:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

and im sooooooooo linkin u!

8:39 PM  
Blogger La Fille du Moment said...

Brilliant as always.
I was surprised you didn't comment on Wolfmaster55's Double Gulp, easily cropped out but probably kept in because it's all he has to ease the lonliness of his virgin lips. Eck. X_x

Favorite lines:
"I'll bet his hopes of getting laid always end in nothing, too."

"But is it tough enough to break through Sub Zero's impenetrable spikey purple armor? I guess we'll have to wait until the renaissance fair to find out."

3:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lmao Am I the only person who read that these people not only mad fun of others but themselves as well...so these people who keep talking about their small egos, dicks, and what not ...LEARN TO FUCKING READ! There are two people in one of the lists that these people made that are one of their very own...fuck you people and your ill literacy...

5:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can't actually believe the cunt who made this site...do you have such a sad life that all you do is make fun of people? At least they have some individuality and everyone can dress how they want anyway? What's it to you?!
You're just a narrow minded low life and you really need to get out more!
Ciou!

12:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's nice too see that you're an asshole. You are just one of the many idiots on the planet ignorant to the goth lifestyle and you stereotype them wrongly as does everyone else. If you could get past the facade of the outside and actually get to know some of these people you would see a thread of love like no other. Yes. I said LOVE. And how do I know? Because I used to be an asshole just like you til I opened my eyes, quit believing the stereotypes, and found out for myself what it was all about. Thanks for spreading more hate. May you have a wonderful day surrounded by normal people that have no creative bones in their bodies. It takes a helluva lot of courage to be goth. Be happy you're a follower and not a leader. Ahhhh...yet another lemming in the world. How nice.

7:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love your ability to mock others. It's definitely one of a kind. What is your inspiration for all of that satire, or is it just an intrinsic characteristic of "Rob"?

mongler.richard@gmail.com

12:12 PM  
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6:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hahahaha thats fuckin quality, aint laughed like that if fuckin ages lol

5:58 PM  
Blogger Alyssa Bea said...

amen to the last part! 'gangsta goth'? what on earth spawned that abomination?!

9:34 AM  
Blogger Tiffanemic said...

the best thing about gangsta goth is that he's holding like, 18 dollars; just enough for some eyeliner and manic panic!

2:59 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ha ha ha ha
first time across you demonbaby ~
and OMFG.....
glad there's you and you are free in this world.....
too hilarious~
i SHALL return.....
he he he he
xo~EST ;) [on myspace]

10:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh Rob, I haven't laughed like this at misfortunate and quirkily pathetic attempts at finding love since I found www.pounced.org. No doubt running PP you've already found this gem, I encourage everyone else to go and take a look as well. If Goths can make you chuckle then a 45 year old man who swears he is a unicorn and will "attempt to please you" sexually is definitely good for near pants wetting hilarity.

11:01 AM  
Anonymous diehipster said...

Love the defender of soda bottles and butterfly calendar in his moms kitchen.

www.diehipster.com

3:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Will not any brave warrior step forward and do battle with this vile beast, and win ye the heart of a gentle maiden?" hahahaha holy shit. i'm dying. i love you (:

10:07 PM  
Anonymous Eyehategoths said...

thank you, thank you.
i havent seen something this asskicking funny and sad for ages. i missed my bus and came late to work but it is all worth the stress. ha ha ha..

as cancer woud say in his profile - Eye am pleased

5:29 AM  
Anonymous themoonglistenswithbloodtearsandiamdancinginacemetary said...

im goth and i find this HIGHLARIOUS! :chortle chortle: anyways, the point of life is to not take things so damn seriously! damn gothpersonal losers, get over yourself!

8:50 PM  
Anonymous keenan oconnor said...

I love you, and this is perfect, but Goatwhore is actually a good band. Think Bathory meets Discharge.

12:29 AM  
Blogger bill said...

hahaha... you've made me glad. the "different just like everybody else" contingent absolutely begs for it with pictures like these...

and i mean really... it fucking begs.

3:04 AM  
Blogger bill said...

also... keenan shut up. :-*

3:09 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

on his way there.

8:40 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This as fucking hilarious. People who get offended really need to learn to take a joke. I really couldn't believe how hard I was laughing.

11:27 PM  
Blogger Carolyn said...

F*cking brilliant. I laughed. I cried. I forwarded this to everyone I know. You could make a reality show pitch where you'd send (very well paid) actors to go on dates with these people. It would be sensational.

10:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

these are seriously the kind of fucking people that make me ashamed to listen ot heavy metal. uuugh!

8:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

after I read this for the first time however long ago I signed up for it just for kicks.....funniest thing I have ever done within the first few minutes doing it I was confronted with a gothic love letter talking about dead children pale faces and yadda yadda yadda

7:56 PM  
Anonymous Mr. Ilarijs said...

Had a good laugh, thanks!
p.s. I am a squirrel-goth ;)

12:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The author has issues. Enough said.

10:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cute...very funny.

But, aren't these people the typical NIN fans? Seems to me they are MOST DEFINATELY NINtard types.
Oh, dear...are we biting "the hand that feeds"?

Tsk, tsk.

9:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fucking hilarious.

3:34 AM  
Anonymous Kerry said...

Brilliant man! Love the goth profiles, especially the post-Subway Jared clone haha!! You are hilarious, keep up the great work.

5:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

At first I thought it was sort of funny but it wore out quickly, then discovering the bloggers relationship with NIN, I felt like this demonbaby is a real shit heap.
Most likely nearly all these people help put food on `ole demon babys plate by support of NIN, and after all when you read about demonbaby he has no problem exploiting his relationship with Trent every chance he gets. Yeah I know its not who you know- but who you blow Rob boy!!!!
Then when you see some pictures of demonbaby its easy to see how you could edit one of these goths off his long winded thread and sneak demon babys own picture in its place under new title of "cheap redneck homophobe goth". Yeah one of the black T-shirt pics with NIN all over it with a caption like "still wearing the same Head like a hole" T shirt from 1997 only the beer gut is making it more of mid-riff in 2008. SExyyy!!

11:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yikes! This is what gives goths a bad rap. You got people that are a bunch of wannabes doing things they think are going to make them like the music artist they listen to, or like some demonic devil or whatever. Goths are quite peaceful and don't make every day out to be Halloween. It's the Goth wannabes that most people think of as Goths. It's kinda' like when you watch a TBN telethon and think that's what Christianity is about. Wrong there too. And the so called "goths" that have posted on here and want to criticize people's sexuality are the ones with the real issues. And I'm not a homophobe either, so don't think that. As far as the NIN comment above me, I can't say anything. Everyone needs to just chill out and listen to whatever music makes you relax. For me, that's Saviour Machine's Legend project. I realize that's not everyone else's cup of tea. In fact, I further realize that some people don't even like tea. So drink what you want too.

3:55 PM  

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