I will never, ever, ever watch Napoleon fucking Dynamite.
If you are reading this right now, there is a ninety percent chance that at some point over the past year - at least once - you have told someone: "You have to see Napoleon Dynamite!" I know this to be true. Don't deny it. Think back, and you'll remember. Remember right after you saw it, how utterly hilarious it was? Remember how hard you laughed in the theatre? Remember how it was the FUNNIEST MOVIE EVER?? Remember how you and all of your friends talked about it for days and days, recounting your favorite quotes and scenes? Hell, maybe you even went back to see it again! I mean, after all, it was the BEST MOVIE EVER CREATED IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE, right?? But wait. Do you also remember the strange sadness and overwhelming confusion you experienced when you encountered someone who - dare I say it - had not yet seen Napoleon Dynamite, God's Gift To Cinematic Comedy? Who didn't rush out to the theatres at the first signs of overwhelming buzz amongst early-twenties urban bohemian white people? Who was living out their miserable days unenlightened by the orgasmic comic brilliance that is NAPOLEON DYNAMITE?? What could be wrong with this person? What malice darkened their bitter soul? Certainly, they must have just not heard HOW FUCKING AMAZINGLY GOOD THIS MOVIE IS. So you know what you did? You told them. Oh, how you told them. "OH MY GOD, YOU HAVEN'T SEEN NAPOLEON DYNAMITE? IT'S SOOOOOOO FUNNY!!! YOU HAVE TO SEE IT!!!"
Now, fair reader, I would credit you with enough intellect to have figured out which side of the above dialogue I found myself on, over and over again during 2004. Yes, it's true: I never saw Napoleon Dynamite. There, I said it. And why would I possibly have avoided THE FUNNIEST MOVIE EVER CONCEIVED BY MAN? Well read on, dear friends, and I will tell you.
At first I just hadn't gotten around to it. I intended to see it. It didn't look very funny - I mean, that guy's face alone pisses me off. But indeed, I had read numerous times that it well worth my time at the cinema, and so I intended to give it a go. But then, something strange happened. Someone told me how Napoleon Dynamite was "SOOOOOOO FUNNY!!! YOU HAVE TO SEE IT!!!" Okay, I said. I'd like to go see it. And then someone else told me that Napoleon Dynamite was "SOOOOOOO FUNNY!!! YOU HAVE TO SEE IT!!!" Yes, yes I've been meaning to see it. I've just been busy. That same day, I was talking to someone else about movies. They asked me if I'd seen Napoleon Dynamite. No, I haven't yet. I've heard it's good, though. "OH MY GOD, YOU HAVEN'T SEEN NAPOLEON DYNAMITE? I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT YET!! IT'S SOOOOOOO FUNNY!!! YOU HAVE TO SEE IT!!!" And that was it. That was the last straw. When the eight hundred and seventeenth person yelled at me about how fucking funny it was and how lacking my pitiful existence was without some curly-haired, tie-wearing fagtard bringing me cinematic cheer, I officially declared my intent to never, ever, under any circumstances, see Napoleon fucking Dynamite. Because you know what? I bet it's not even that funny. I bet it sucks sweaty goat balls. It's probably one of those "quirky" movies that you go into determined to enjoy, because everyone else says it's so good. I bet I'd hate every minute of it. I hate the name, I hate the main character, I hate "VOTE FOR PEDRO" - whatever the fuck that means. I hate seeing it listed (usually in capital letters, followed by numerous exclamation marks) at the top of everybody's favorite films list on their MySpace profiles. I hate that it's out on DVD now so I have to see a wave of new fucking advertisements for it - some of them right here on MySpace - reminding me how ridiculously far outside of pop culture's inner circle I am for not having sat through 82 minutes of some four-eyed boner's wacky misadventures.
So starting today, I am standing up for the few and the proud who have refused to see Napoleon Dynamite. I am officially making it WAY cooler to have NOT seen this movie. If you've seen this movie, you're so lame. You just do what everyone else does. You're such a conformist. That's not cool. You know what IS cool? Being different, man! Being an outsider! NOT seeing Napoleon Dynamite!
So today I have founded a MySpace Group for the very very few of us - the elite, if you will - who can still claim to be truly pure. It is called P.A.N.D.A. - The Proudly Anti Napoleon Dynamite Association. Please visit our site, and read our mission statement, and ask yourself if you're cool enough to join. And if you are, please affix the following P.A.N.D.A. Badge Of Honour to your MySpace profile:
Now, fair reader, I would credit you with enough intellect to have figured out which side of the above dialogue I found myself on, over and over again during 2004. Yes, it's true: I never saw Napoleon Dynamite. There, I said it. And why would I possibly have avoided THE FUNNIEST MOVIE EVER CONCEIVED BY MAN? Well read on, dear friends, and I will tell you.
At first I just hadn't gotten around to it. I intended to see it. It didn't look very funny - I mean, that guy's face alone pisses me off. But indeed, I had read numerous times that it well worth my time at the cinema, and so I intended to give it a go. But then, something strange happened. Someone told me how Napoleon Dynamite was "SOOOOOOO FUNNY!!! YOU HAVE TO SEE IT!!!" Okay, I said. I'd like to go see it. And then someone else told me that Napoleon Dynamite was "SOOOOOOO FUNNY!!! YOU HAVE TO SEE IT!!!" Yes, yes I've been meaning to see it. I've just been busy. That same day, I was talking to someone else about movies. They asked me if I'd seen Napoleon Dynamite. No, I haven't yet. I've heard it's good, though. "OH MY GOD, YOU HAVEN'T SEEN NAPOLEON DYNAMITE? I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT YET!! IT'S SOOOOOOO FUNNY!!! YOU HAVE TO SEE IT!!!" And that was it. That was the last straw. When the eight hundred and seventeenth person yelled at me about how fucking funny it was and how lacking my pitiful existence was without some curly-haired, tie-wearing fagtard bringing me cinematic cheer, I officially declared my intent to never, ever, under any circumstances, see Napoleon fucking Dynamite. Because you know what? I bet it's not even that funny. I bet it sucks sweaty goat balls. It's probably one of those "quirky" movies that you go into determined to enjoy, because everyone else says it's so good. I bet I'd hate every minute of it. I hate the name, I hate the main character, I hate "VOTE FOR PEDRO" - whatever the fuck that means. I hate seeing it listed (usually in capital letters, followed by numerous exclamation marks) at the top of everybody's favorite films list on their MySpace profiles. I hate that it's out on DVD now so I have to see a wave of new fucking advertisements for it - some of them right here on MySpace - reminding me how ridiculously far outside of pop culture's inner circle I am for not having sat through 82 minutes of some four-eyed boner's wacky misadventures.
So starting today, I am standing up for the few and the proud who have refused to see Napoleon Dynamite. I am officially making it WAY cooler to have NOT seen this movie. If you've seen this movie, you're so lame. You just do what everyone else does. You're such a conformist. That's not cool. You know what IS cool? Being different, man! Being an outsider! NOT seeing Napoleon Dynamite!
So today I have founded a MySpace Group for the very very few of us - the elite, if you will - who can still claim to be truly pure. It is called P.A.N.D.A. - The Proudly Anti Napoleon Dynamite Association. Please visit our site, and read our mission statement, and ask yourself if you're cool enough to join. And if you are, please affix the following P.A.N.D.A. Badge Of Honour to your MySpace profile:
posted by Rob at 12:53 PM. [ permanent link ]
91 Comments:
I got about 15 mins through it and had to turn it off. It hurt my brain and was an affront to geeks everywhere.
And that guy's face. I mean I guess it's a positive he can get paid for being so ugly... But deep down, is it worth it to be known forever as the virgin swampdonkey from that worthless schlock movie?
Ha. There was an article in the Orlando Sentinel yesterday and you were freakin in it about this very point. The only reason I remember this was from myspace days. I deleted my account there and on friendster.
NapDynamite, to me, came off as a movie written by MTV execs about characters that they had heard about from a friend of a friend.
it tried way toooo hard.
My nephew showed me the first ten minutes on DVD. It was funny. But too painful -- it was like my social set in high school. I've been trying so hard to forget ...
I fucking hated it. I enjoy making fun of it though. I can't help but wonder if the actors were actually that stupid. They were damn good at being depressing examples of humanity.
Oh my Gawd! That movie sucked ass!
I must say that although I admire your strong stance against Napoleon Dynamite, I must disagree with you.
I found the movie to be quite funny in its portrayal of the American south. Surely you know that pathetic, nothing-to-do sort of air the bible belt has. For its merits as a cultural satire, I can say that Napoleon Dynamite does not deserve such unjust treatment until you have actually watched it.
It is merely too bad that it became such a mainstream film. This means that every layman can talk of it as if he is an expert. That is also where the immensely annoying "FUNNIEST MOVIE EVER!" exclamations stem from. Cult status would have suited it much better.
I shamefully admit I was one of those people who watched it with every intent of saying it was good no matter how bad it was. I remeber vividly laughing once. The cow scene. Here's a scary thought, a sequal.
You, coke drinking man are an idiot and i'm guessing an American. I hate you and i hate blogs. You are a sh*t person and you have ruined what was seemingly going to be, a beautiful day. I am now going to watch Napoleon Dynamite. Burn.
I intended to see it when it came out, but ended up borrowing the DVD from a friend (he, his girlfriend, and his sister all giving me exactly the same lines you describe). And you know what? It was dreadful. I wish I had never heard of this damn movie. It's like all the cool kids who spent high school torturing people like me got together and wrote a movie about being unpopular. The faux weirdness is stunningly painful to watch. This movie is an affront to individuality and comedy. I kept hoping there would be some payoff at the end, something to make me glad I had sat through the rest of the film. Nothing. I think I laughed once, and the memory of that laugh is almost as depressing as the film itself.
anon 3:46 : LOL!!!!
I thought it was like watching those retarded videos your classmates would make in senior film class— thrift-store clothes and all, doing the kind of shit they thought was funny when they got stoned.
hahaha! I tried watching it and had to turn it off after 10 minutes. It was horribly annoying.
I salute you!
I too have vowed to never watch that horrendous looking "movie", for the exact same reasons you have indicated in your blog. I won't even attempt to watch it...if I want a painful experience I could just bang my head into the wall and save myself the £3.75 it would cost to assault myself with this overhyped piece of churned out crap that is being peddled to the masses as "quirky comedic genius".
Huzzah to you.
I LOVED that movie! By the way, have you ever seen it? muahahahahaha
Once, I was at someone's house and the movie happened to be playing for about ten minutes, but fortunately they cut it off.
I hate these irritatingly huge fads. In my economic geography class these stupid girls asked the Venezuelan guy sitting in front of me to quote some stupidass thing because it would sound like Pedro. So annoying.
My boyfriend made me watch it with him because it was "so funny!" So annoying, yes...funny? Absolutely not. I sincerely WISH I were one of those who could say "Nope, never saw it."
My little sister was one of those people who said, "OMG! You HAVE to see it! It's SOOOO Funny!" I kept waiting for it to start being funny, and I gave up after 30 minutes. It was at least 10 times less entertaining than the crappy webcam video of the weirdo singing and dancing to "Dragostea Din Tei".
I watched it at home one night....I admit it. I was curious about all the hype, but I really didn't know that I would like it. I don't remember a thing about the story. Was there a story? I was fucking bored. How did so many people think that it was "art" or even worthwhile mindless entertainment? I can't join your group, sadly, but I can assure you that you made the right choice.
Unfortunately, I watched this movie. I now weep for those hours that I will never have back.
YOU WATCHED IT! DON'T LIE. AND talking about conforming, you're trying to be different but in actuality you're a conformist too. i betcha you copied someone else who hated the movie. it's so obivious when you read that entry that YOU DID READ IT. SO stop it with the front and stop trying to be cool. You try to be like "i think outside of the box" but you're trying wayyyyyy to fucking hard.
Saw the movie. I enjoyed it. I never actually intended to watch it, but one day it was on cable and I was very very bored so I did. And I laughed.
But honestly, i dont see how it got so HUGE because while I liked it a lot, I wouldnt imagine it to be so popular. I would have thought it would (at most) go the way of Donnie Darko...
the reason it became so mainstream was that it wasnt mainstream to begin with. people liked it because it wasnt what they were used to. If it hadn't been mainstream, would you have watched it? im guessing so. And saying that because you haven't watched it you're cooler than those who have just makes you pathetic. you really can not say that something is crap if you havent even seen it yet. Personally, i haven't seen it but i intend to, then at least if i thought it WAS crap, i can honestly say, "yes i HAVE seen that movie, and it was crap." So don't judge it yet, ok. and, really, you think you're cool... i'm sorry, but i had to laugh. L-A-M-E.
I saw the movie before it became popular and it was amusing but I didn't really think anything of it. It wasn't until later when my brothers and I were talking about it that it became really funny. The second time I saw it it was a lot funnier. I have no clue why. Then it became the movie to see. Which made me sad. Although, I'm glad the independent film company made a lot of money. That doesn't happen very often. I understand your hate of the movie's trend, but can you really hate the actual movie without seeing it?
After seeing this man-bitch and his wife at a local restaurant act like they're the big shit, I've also taken the oath not to support fag bait.
OH MY GOD, YOU HAVEN'T SEEN NAPOLEON DYNAMITE??! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT YET!!! IT'S SOOOO FUNNY, YOU HAVE TO SEE IT!!!
Naw, you're right in your assumptions. It's one of those quirky movies put under the MTV spell to make it seem convincingly funny, like their constant jokes about white people acting black.
I love how all of your minions clamor to agree with you.
It really, truly is a dumb movie. All of my pretentious art film friends hate it. So naturally, I love it.
I respect your need to not see it. I understand that you need to prove yourself as a man. But it's important for you to know that you would enjoy it, and I know this because we are the same person. Except that I have a vagina. And better hair.
ok, ok, ok. I can see your problem with this movie. It's possible to piece together the entire movie, just by hearing frat boys quoting it. However, the movie is funny. I first saw it in the theater. Noone told me to see it. I saw the previews and it looked funny. Turns out, it was. I've known so many kids like that growing up. The filmmakers nailed it. On the other hand, after having seen it, and encouraging my friends to do so (ok, i'm guilty), a glut of frat boys and other people i generally hate started getting behind it and ruining it. These people (as well as the majority of Napoleon Dynamite's fans) only laugh at the film's one liners. But, don't let these people disuade you. It is a funny film. While the one liners are somewhat funny, look past these dumbed down distractions and see the subtlety, where the film is truly hilarious. Kip and Napoleon's school picture on the living room wall, top-loading VCRs, and Rex's sign (I will not use Rex-Kwan-Do for evil. I will be a champion of freedom and justice)and you will see where the film's merits truly lie.
just give it a chance, and secretly enjoy it
I am the same why with the movie Titanic. The real test came when I flew from London to Atlanta, then caught a connecting fight from Atlanta to San Francisco. Guess what was the movie on BOTH these flights? Ti-fuckin'-tanic!!
Y'know, as interesting as this sounds, nobody else appears to have said this... but what the fuck is Napoleon Dynamite?
Fuck you, I don't go out much.
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good decision. i never really wanted to see it, but my boyfriend's mom got it from netflix, so we decided to see what the big deal was. there was no big deal. i wasted an hour or 2 of my life watching that garbage. it drives me insane when people quote the movie, and i can't understand how people think it's remotely funny.
oh man. ya, i did see it, but i also thought it was more depressing than funny. i mean, at first you kind of feel sorry for the guy because of course, it would suck to be that pathetic. but then as it goes on, he becomes simply too pathetic to even be funny. i will admit, i did laugh a few times. but still, that is the kind of movie that triggers my horribly hypocritical anti-hipster rant about how theyre so hypocritical for constantly wanting to go "against the social norm" and be cool and different, which is ironic, because everyone else is the same way. i guess i come off looking like a pretentious ass now because ive done exactly what im ranting against in trying to go against the new social norm. you see, thats why i hate those damn emo-indie hipsters. because they make themselves and everyone else look like asses. ya, i know, that has nothing to do with napoleon dynamite but i guess i can end by saying a small explosion goes off in my head everytime i hear someone say "flippin" or "your sleeves are real big" in that stupid napoleon voice or when guys wear extremely tight "vote for pedro" shirts that go along so well with their skin tight fashionably torn girl's jeans. sorry for the long post, but that was an awesome article you wrote.
Why not use your own brain and watch a movie for yourself to decide if you like it? Who cares how popular or unpopular a movie is? By your logic Lord of the Rings should have been scratched off your list too. All these people turning it off after 10 minutes and calling it crap - how can any film be judged by the first 10 minutes? It's obvious these people were just trying kiss your ass.
I, personally, think it is hilarious. Not because it's cleverly written, nor because of all the comedic hi-jinks that ensue once you hit 'Play', but because I'm basically watching my foster son's life when that movie is on. Seriously. When the kid showed up on my doorstep, he was wearing some stupid, thrift-shop t-shirt, moon boots, glasses and the most ridiculous haircut I've ever seen. The kid has come a loooong way since that fateful day 2 years ago, but holy shit...it's like someone followed him around for a week, filming the daily events of his life because THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT HE'S LIKE.
The way Napoleon drinks juice and gets it all over himself? That's my foster son. The way he dances? That's my foster son. Needs/wants/lies about his "girlfriend"...yep, that's my foster son. I've watched it a few times since I came to this stunning revelation. It gets funnier everytime. My wife agrees with me, too. I forced her to watch it, and then re-watch it while pointing out all the shit our kiddo has in common w/ Napoleon. She nearly pissed her pants laughing. Fantastic.
So after seeing various trailers and commercials I was 99% sure I would hate this movie. Everyone kept going on about it though, and eventually my younger sister had rented it, so I tried to watch it. I TRIED... I think my brain would have started hemmoraging if I left it on for any longer than the half hour attempt.
It is SO BAD, and not even remotely funny.
I really think it's one of those movies that people watch, hate, and then preted to like because they think they'll seem smarter because they "get it". There is NOTHING to get.
You did the right thing by not bothering with this movie. If anything, I'd only recommend watching it because after doing so you'd have to reconsider your opinion of anyone who did like it.
Ok. I have to sound off with my 2 cents. Dumb ass movie. Although I did see it for all of its 'You have to see it' people (including my girlfriend) I found it to be stupid. Just didn't understand what the hype was all about. But the one point I want to make is the response to the goofball, 'Amanda', that writes about the portrayal of the 'bible-thumping south'. Which movie did you watch? The state of Idaho, the last time I checked a map, is not in the south and the dominant religion in that state is Mormanism. Mormans don't go around pumping themselves up over religion. It is about converting. Duh!!
GOSH Amanda!!
These are all shitty responses, of people feeling the necessity to bunch around someone who has given a neurotic explosion of confused hatred about a movie that ain't that bad. Cry more noobs and next time suck Rob's dick.
Though this movie seems to strike a chord with the younger crowd, there is no age limit to appreciating this film, just limits in your sense of humor. Perhaps the funniest movie I've seen in years, ND explores character profiles we never thought would make it to the movies. The characters cover a wide range of social misfits and exhibit the nuances of their behavior in a way that makes sense to them, if not to the general public. It's like a sociological case study of a primitive and exotic tribe of "Nerds". Everyone of us should be able to recognize at least one of the ND characters from somewhere in our past or somewhere in our psyches. The acting is sublime, because sometimes we forget that they ARE acting. The writing and dialogue are inventive and unexpected, and so dry it might take you a few days to start laughing. But once you do start laughing, you won't be able to stop. This movie is sure to be a cult classic for the new millennium the way Repo Man was the the 80's. And if you like this film, consider yourself luck-EEEE, because not everyone will.
this is why the movie got so much attention:
mtv had somthing to do with it, so people (the type who like "next" and other fine programming)had went to see it. then they realized the the movie only makes you uncomfortable, as it reminds you of what you feared being and always suspected of being in school. so laughter of the nerveous sort ensues. then after feeling akward about laughing about it in front of your friends, and wanting them to think that it wasn't because of discomfort, but instead because you really thought that the movie, and how pathetic the characters were, was deserving of true comical merit. Essentially, the movie got a reputation for being funny because people wanted other peole to find it funny in a way that they themselves didnt find it. it helped that i have 2 little sisters in high school that helped me figure this out. it isnt a funny movie. its like ghost world, without the good writing, solid characters or interesting plot( i didnt even like ghost world)
IT. WAS. NOT. FUNNY.
IT KILLED BRAIN CELLS!
I can't even fathom the brain that thinks THAT is funny.
If I had one wish I would WISH I had never seen it.
I must agree. I failed to see why it stole the heart of so many. After being told to see it, I became very enthusiastic about it....
I waited until it came out on cable, watched about 20 minutes of the ending, then stared blankly at my screen asking myself "I don't get it? What did I miss?"
I wish I could say I've never seen that piece of shit. I've never seen a movie where I wanted to punch every character in the throat. And I like bad movies. Like Pterodactyl Woman from Beverly Hills.
I worship everything you type but this was the greatest.
I've never seen Dynamite and don't want to because the only people who ever told me to see it are all the stupid little emo kiddies at the local high school, so I discertain that it's just a stupid little emo movie.
I stole the badge.
I never saw it- living in England and without MTV in our household, it never really impacted on me. Then after seeing a trailer of it when going silently to the cinema to see another film, I vowed never to watch it. I am proud.
napoleon dynamite is the biggest piece of shit thats has ever been passed off as a film.
well me and friend were bored one day and it was the only movie playing and only like 5 people were in the theater including us...i have to say it didnt intrest me all that much but i dont understand why just cuz people like the movie you think its gunna suck..im sure if someone said they hadnt seen your favorite movie youd recomend a viewing of it...who cares if everyones seen it...you have no idea if youd like it or not...dont dis abuncha shit you know nothing about
When I first saw the commercial, I thought it looked kinda stupid. I never got the real point of the movie. Who really wanted to see a movie about a kid who had nothing to prove. It was a boring movie. The only reason I watched it, was because I Had to. My teacher comes in and tells the class and when finals came, he had us watch it..v.v thank god, I had a dentist appoinment the next day and didn't have to watch the rest of it!
I'm ashamed to say I saw that movie. But all throught it I kept thinking "what the HELL were my friends thinking saying that this was worth watching?!" OK, the White Stripes song was a plus, but I can listen to that whenever the hell I feel like it, I don't need some retarded movie for that!
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH U GUYS NAPOLEON DYNAMITE IS THJE BEST FRIGGIN MOVIE VER AND U GUYZ ARE SCREWWED IN THE HEAD NAPOELON IS SOOOOOOOOOO FUNNY I NO HIS DANCE AND EVERYTHING YA IM GOING 2 WATCH IT RIGHT NOW HA
It was so paintful to watch that stupid movie. It was so stupid that it hurts. My bf felt asleep soon after it started but for some reason, I was determined to find a better part in the movie so I stayed awake.... Gosh, that was the biggest mistake. I hate that stupid movie.
However, I had not heard a good thing about it before I saw it though. I just kinda saw it on the stock in blockbuster.
When I first saw ND, I thought it was okay. Nothing particulary amazing about it, but nothing really terrible either. But still a waste of my money. But then, when I turned up for school on Monday, some of the girls in my drama class had seen it as well. They did a sketch based off it. And have done the exact same style of sketch for THE PAST 10 FUCKING MONTHS OR HOWEVER LONG THAT GODDAMN DVD HAS BEEN OUT! I SWEAR I HAVE TO HEAR 'I need chopsticks. My lips are dry.' IN A FUCKING PISS-WEAK FAKE AMERICAN ACCENT ONE MORE FUCKING TIME I WILL FUCKING KILL EVERY PERSON IN A 10km RADIUS WITH MY BARE HANDS!...Sorry, just had to get that off my chest...
"napoleon dynamite rules", you, my dear friend, are a complete and utter tool, in the absoulute worse sense of the word.
Didn't see it. They didn't show it here in the Philippines.
First time I watched it because my friend had a copy of it when it was still in the movies, so for free why not? I thought it was kinda dumb, and didn't think I'd bother watching it again. 2nd time I saw it, my son's friend brought it and I wasn't planning on sitting through it again... but damn, the 2nd time it was a lot a better. Hillarious even, but I think your P.A.N.D.A. members and you will do just fine never seeing the movie. Funny as in stupid funny? Yes. Best movie ever? Not.
Well, oh great elitest, I can't join your cult as I've seen the movie. You rants are not warrented. Don't worry, you have nothing to fear, your cool factor is still in check. Napolean won't be challenging you for that anytime soon. As for the movie, there are isolated funny spots. But in general, when I walked away from it, I was left with the "What the hell was that all about?" feeling. Supposedly if you watch it many times, it makes it easier to understand, but I'm not buying it.
oh my god you should see this movie it's funny
I understand what you say, my friend.
I've never seen Forrest Gump or Titanic.
All the people I know who like these films are total and complete boring idiots. Mostly middle-aged women I work with...and they "can't BELIEVE I haven't seen Forrest Gump...it's one of the best movies ever made!"
God how I hate Tom Hanks...
Now Napoleon Dynamite...that film I DO like...sorry! :)
I've never seen it too. And what? Nobody cares about it. I've never seen Titanic, or Lord Of The Rings, or Matrix, or whatthehell. But that is no reason to make a group against these movies. It's just dumb.
WAIT, better, I've seen "The Nightmare Before Christmas" and think that this movie isn't even as great as the most scenemyspacewhatever people think. Maybe I should write about that in my livejournal.
There's something about the cliche image of an apathetic scholar.. on a mission to... Pull his scrawny butt up and back out of a vat of peanut butter. ? I don't know, I don't care - All I know is that the overwhelming degree of acclaim which transpired throughout the masses, and so, being imposed upon myself, has inevitably caused me to hold my buck and instead watch the children ecstatically clap their hands and shake their fannies about in approval of this star-class film. This has been at least 12x more entertaining than any motion-picture production. Reality is my favourite lens. I've also intentionally avoided watching The Matrix... I listen to my friends express their enchantment over this life-altering film. I hate having to leak pleasantries like, "Oh wow, it sounds great I'll really have to check that one out.." Then, of course I hear the inevitable cry of agony and disbelief (I'm almost sorry to impose such a deep-seeded suffering unto those who've been apparently so enlightened) "Seek truth! Seek help! Do *something*... You must see the Matrix! It's incredible!!!!" *Sighs* ~Anyway, I love your blogsite... I think you have a fantabulous frame of mind, not to mention the intellect to express it in such a charming manner. I've found this to be quite rare. Keep writing!! We need more of your cutting insights!~
My boyfriend and I saw it, a long time after it came out, and we weren't that impressed. I guess that's normal with a movie that has been hyped as the BEST THING EVER!!.
What's Napoleon Dynamite?
By the way, that guy on your myspace badge looks like Erlend Oye. And that is not a compliment.
SOUNDS LIKE EVERYONE HERE HAS A POOR SENSE OF HUMOR..........WHAT MOVIE DID YOU THINK WAS FUNNY? BY THE WAY JUST BECAUSE A MAJORITY THINKS A MOVIE IS FUNNY DOESNT MEEN THAT IT ISN'T
I have seen the previews and I feel like I have seen way to much of this
"I shop at St. Vincent de Paul and this therefore places me on the razor's edge of counter-culture" cum sucker of a high school debacle.
Napoleon Dynamite, I never saw it, too much hype.
WoW, never played it, too much hype, ruined the rustic gamer community.
MySpace, looked at it before it was a "necessity" and decided that my personal website was much better and never used it.
Rob, great satirical blogger. (envy)
Thanks for another great post.
Rob, you write with grace, it just flows. There are definitely people in the comment section trying to do the same. God, how I hate choppy sounding sentences littered with 'big words'. Well public, keep on trucking with crappy lingo.
It's been two years since I first read this post.. I STILL haven't watched the movie. I just hope you're proud of me. :D
Just so you all know this film was written by Mormons and I'm more than positive the main protagonist is Mormon himself, I think part of why people tried to glorify the film, was for it's lack of swearing. Although I had to force myself to sit through the entire time-span of boredom, it's just touching on themes of clichéd Americans in dead-beat towns. It's not worth all of the praise it's given, I'll give the writers credit for the funny spoof of hispanics but that's all, even then I'm offended because I'm hispanic but thank gab (god, allah & buddah) I'm not in the USA, otherwise I'd be marginalised.
Here here to your views it sucked more nuts then a phillipeno hoe on a busy five dollar friday night!! my (now X) sister in law worshipped it I bitch slapped her and told her to straighten up and watch a REAL movie... FEAR AND LOATHING IN LAS VEGAS!!! Bring on the Gonzo version of life I say!!!
If I ever watched ND it'd be simply because it's on in the background while I'm doing other things. A Saturday-cleaning-the-apartment movie. When it first came out I thought it looked interesting, y'know, quirky, right? And I like that. But then EVERYBODY and their grandmother raved over it, and the fact so many of them were mouthbreathing sheep boys and girls made me think twice. When the freaking merchandise started flooding my favorite comic shop, that was the last straw. I bet it is just a MTV movie made by hipsters pretending to know about shit they DON'T know about. That kind of b.s. can't be hidden with clever phrases and ugly clothes. I SMELL YOUR LIES, YUPSTERS.
...of course I have a strong tendency to refuse things if over %40 of the population raves about them. I will never listen to Panic at the Disco or Fallout Boy (the latter mainly because I KNOW what their name is taken from, and I can guarantee over half their little fucking groupies don't, and that just makes me mad. It's like people wearing Death shirts and not knowing whatthefuck it means.) I will never read Harry Potter...because I've already read it. Y'know...when it was called BOOKS OF MAGIC. And then there's Myspace. ...word's cannot describe my feelings towards Myspace.
The hell...I used this for my own mini-rant. Apologies...but yeah. Fuck bandwagons.
No need to worry: I've seen it twice and nothing actually happens in the film.
It's only funny because it's completely pointless. There aren't any jokes that I can remember, just a total loser of a boy with 1 friend that does a strange dance at the end (see the music video for 'Dance, Dance' by Fall Out Boy).
What are you, twelve? Grow up you stupid-ass scene bastard. You are like Maddox, just even less funny. You need to kill yourself as soon as possible, like wise to all of your little fans, clamoring to suck your massive e-peen.
I'm on your side dude, but with a different film - here it is, 24 fucking years later and I still get "WHAT? YOU HAVEN'T SEEN E.T. THE EXTRA TERRESTRIAL? I LOOOVE THAT MOVIE!!!1!" No, I really haven't damn well seen ET. Because I've never wanted to. Well hey, have you seen Children Of Men? WHAT? WHY THE FUCK NOT? WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? IT'S AWESOME GODDAMIT!! Yeah, annoying isn't it? Wanker.
So anyway, viva PANDA! I've seen Napoleon Dynamite but I'm with you in principle. I fucking hate those VOTE FOR PEDRO shirts too.
I have never ever seen that movie.
And I had to pretend I did otherwise someone would give me a two hour recap of the movie.
But yeah. It looks like it sucks.
I tried seeing it once and it bored me.
I once saw Napoleon Dynamite... I could say that I was forced into it, but I was not tied down with my eyes clamped open and the DVD player whirring.
I saw it of my own volition and I hate myself for it. It was possibly the stupidest and most pointless thing i've ever seen. I didn't laugh, I believe I was waiting for the funny bit. It never came.
The night I saw part of this movie was also the first night I ever got sick from alcohol. Guess which one was more painful.
I never finished that movie. I *pauses to take a shot* continue to drink.
P.A.N.D.A.
You need to watch Super Bad...Kay?
i envy you.
i caved when all of my friends told me to go see it.
i'm thankful that, because i worked at a movie theatre at the time, it was free.
I saw it... It was about as enjoyable as having a pipe-cleaner jammed up my pee-hole...
I'd like to lock the guy who wrote that in a small cage with a megapohone equipped Fran Drescher...
I completely agree with you.
I watched this movie when i was sick and let me tell you, I didn't feel any better after watching it.
It was the most mind-numbing, boring, excuse for a comedy I've ever seen. And the fact that the two main dudes don't know how to shut their mouths just made it even worse.
WORST MOVIE OF ALL TIME.
funny how all of a sudden everbody seems to dislike the movie :P
now how cool am i, being different from the majority of people on here - saying that i liked it.
there is such a thing as trying to hard to be an outsider.
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... No one's mentioned it to me. I am pure and untouched! AND now that you've made it cool not to watch it, I obviously must -
i think the biggest LOLOLOLOLOO!91919lOLOLo1ol1010L:POL! about this situation is all you people confirming that Napoleon Dynamite is no good whatsoever in some kind of manic botty-kissing extravaganza.
Napoleon Dynamite? What's that?
Exactly.
UPDATE:
:|
DUDE WTF ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT! THIS MOVIE IS SOO GOOD YOU HAVE TO SEE IT!
AHAHAHAHAHA
I'm the exact same. I was going to go see it but then because people kept telling me to I didn't bother.
Same thing happened with Pirates of the Caribbean. I only saw it because our teacher put it on for us in a class. Turns out I liked the film. Don't think I'll be watching ND anytime soon though.
Yeah bro - I totally agree. I avoided it for the exact same reason. I eventually decided to watch it so at least I could bitch about it from an evidential perspective, and it was dull. Dull dull dull. It was dull like a Sunday afternoon, when the weather is neither good nor bad, you are stuck in a rural airport with flat batteries for your media player, your only book is some political thriller with Omega or Delta in the title and its missing the last 50 pages, the bar is shut, and the cleaners are the only people around, and they all speak Serbian.
Good post man.
Amanda said...
"I must say that although I admire your strong stance against Napoleon Dynamite, I must disagree with you.
I found the movie to be quite funny in its portrayal of the American south...."
...it's supposed to be a portrayal of rural Idaho
I know this thread is a zillion years old. Or rather 3 years...but I know the writer/director.
He's a pretty smart guy with a good sense of humor. But I don't know what he was thinking when he wrote this. I didn't see it until last year when I went to a friend's house. I had never felt such fury. The annoyance gathered to the point where I went, "what the fuck is so funny about this? I don't get it. He says idiot every 5 seconds and shutup." It was like reliving my childhood and it was funny for about... 3 minutes.
Anyways, I know the guy who wrote it and it was just a random movie. He took a long time writing it and just had fun with it. Not to mention it had no bad words in it...so it was good for children? I don't know it confused me.
His wife is weirder though. I can see her writing it not him.
Well I must have been one of the lucky ones to not even see any advertisements of Napoleon Dynamite or have any friends making recommendations. But I did see the fucking movie one afternoon on HBO while I was sick. I have to say that you are right, it sucks fucking goat balls and I am disappointed that people even pay any interest to this shit. I feel even more stupid that I suffered through the entire film waiting for something hilarious.
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