Things I Learned Today. Starring: Floppy vaginas and the guy with the hair from Interpol.
For some reason, I went on Friendster today. I have a profile there, somewhere, but I haven't checked it in months. It kind of turned into a wasteland. Anyway, I was looking for something, or someone, and I was surprised to see that Friendster had put a bit of effort into not being completely useless anymore. Not quite enough effort, mind you, but it's the thought that counts. So I'm looking at Friendster's home page, and there's a list of "Popular Searches In Your Network." And it changes all the time, I'm sure, but at that exact moment it happened to be an incredibly hilarious selection of search entries. I think this really says a lot about the people in my network:
I guess the people in my network are either wealthy well-educated gay emo hipsters with body issues, or female Linkin Park fans with large vaginas who fucked Carlos D. And that's pretty great in and of itself, but thankfully the links were clickable, so I clicked on a few of them to see the results, and I learned a few things. See if you can tell which search results led me to the following revelations:
1) Carlos D has herpes, apparently, and everyone knows about it now, because some girl he infected made a blog about it. Mega drama on da LES for realz. I'm glad I only put his penis in my mouth once, before he was famous.
2) The Laser Vaginal Rejuvenation Institute of San Antonio can not only give your cavernous, well-used fish mitten that "just-like-new" feeling again, but also offers Designer Laser Vaginoplasty for girls who are self-conscious about their droopy beef curtains. The best part about this site is the quote from a former client on the front page: "My vagina had that 'flippy-floppy' feeling."
3) U R ONE STEP CLOSER!! YAH!!! THAT IS MY FAVORITE
SONG. WHAT IS SAYS ABOUT U IS THAT U HAVE A
VERY VERY SHORT TEMPER AND U DONT LIKE TO BE
PUSHED. THANX FOR READING A PLEASE MESSAGE OR
RATE!!
WHAT LINKIN PARK SONG ARE U?
brought to you by Quizilla
And
4) Somewhere, someone actually jacks off to this:
Yeah. This is what I do on a saturday night.
Popular Searches In My Network:
1. boners in speedos
2. private school rankings
3. am i in love
4. what indie-rock song are you quiz
5. carlos d interpol herpes
6. hipster quiz
7. height and weight calculator
8. linkin park quiz
9. prada MV515
10. large vaginas
I guess the people in my network are either wealthy well-educated gay emo hipsters with body issues, or female Linkin Park fans with large vaginas who fucked Carlos D. And that's pretty great in and of itself, but thankfully the links were clickable, so I clicked on a few of them to see the results, and I learned a few things. See if you can tell which search results led me to the following revelations:
1) Carlos D has herpes, apparently, and everyone knows about it now, because some girl he infected made a blog about it. Mega drama on da LES for realz. I'm glad I only put his penis in my mouth once, before he was famous.
2) The Laser Vaginal Rejuvenation Institute of San Antonio can not only give your cavernous, well-used fish mitten that "just-like-new" feeling again, but also offers Designer Laser Vaginoplasty for girls who are self-conscious about their droopy beef curtains. The best part about this site is the quote from a former client on the front page: "My vagina had that 'flippy-floppy' feeling."
3) U R ONE STEP CLOSER!! YAH!!! THAT IS MY FAVORITE
SONG. WHAT IS SAYS ABOUT U IS THAT U HAVE A
VERY VERY SHORT TEMPER AND U DONT LIKE TO BE
PUSHED. THANX FOR READING A PLEASE MESSAGE OR
RATE!!
WHAT LINKIN PARK SONG ARE U?
brought to you by Quizilla
And
4) Somewhere, someone actually jacks off to this:
Yeah. This is what I do on a saturday night.
posted by Rob at 9:17 PM. [ permanent link ]
1 Comments:
Rob... c'mon now. Get off these websites. They damage your health. Go out for a drink. Fix a computer... just promise me you will never ever do anything like that again without telling us about it.
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