Demonbaby: Friday, June 06, 2008subscribe to demonbaby

Exploring The Creation Museum - America's New Mecca of Fanatical Ignorance

[Currently Going To: Hell]

If you ask the average Christian what The Bible means to them, you're likely to get a wide variety of answers, but in most cases it's probably a somewhat personal thing. They identify with the stories, they regard the teachings of Jesus as guidelines for their lives, they believe He's their salvation, et cetera et cetera. Most would probably tell you that The Bible is a very important book to them - maybe the most important thing they've ever read. They would tell you it guides their daily lives, provides them hope, sculpts their sense of morality, et cetera, et cetera. What the majority of them would hopefully have a very hard time telling you, however, is that The Bible is meant to be interpreted as a literal history book. That every single word of it is a literal truth. Even the most devout Christian will likely tell you that the story of Adam and Eve is merely an allegory* - and they'd be right. It's a simple way of conveying the general Christian ideas of God's relationship with man, and the nature of sin. I suppose the original authors of the Old Testament may have believed it to be absolutely true, but to put that in context, the prevailing wisdom of the time was that God kept the sun in a boat full of deities who sailed across the sky every day trying to prevent said sun from being eaten by an evil serpent.

Thousands of years later, we've discovered that the sun is in fact a giant ball of gasses, and it doesn't sail across the sky, but merely appears to because our planet is (believe it or not) round, and constantly rotating. We've discovered all of this, and a lot more, very slowly over hundreds of thousands of years through the compounded knowledge of millions of people throughout history pooling their intellectual efforts in a meticulous process known as science. And it works. It works so well it has given us automobiles, electricity, space travel, modern medicine, video games, butt funnels, and the network of computers delivering this website to you right at this moment - all of which were developed in the thousands of years after The Bible was written by a persecuted ancient people desperate for supernatural intervention. Whether its authors were channeling the word of God or not is a debate for another day - but what we know, for a fact, they were not doing, is writing the literal history of the Universe. Well, most of us know that for a fact. The people who believe otherwise call themselves Young Earth Creationists.

Young Earth Creationists are a batshit-crazy sect of religious fanatics at the deep end of Christian fundamentalism, who believe that The Bible is, quote, "the history book of the Universe." They believe every word of The Bible is not only the word of God, but is absolute literal truth, and the only truth in the Universe against which all other truths must be compared. So, of course, a manmade concept like science is a flawed, malleable thing which must be twisted around in order to fit with the words of The Bible. The most brazen of modern Young Earth Creationists (YECs, for short) believe this can be done without compromising religion or science. What, then, does The Bible say about history? Well, among other things, it says that the world is roughly 6,000 years old, dating the dawn of man to a period of time rich with recorded history of the development of urban cultures and early technology. So not merely evolution, but all of our concepts of the earth being millions of years old, the lineage of dinosaurs, the ice age, early man, and the entire history of human civilization - all of that is horribly incorrect, according to the YECs. All of the evidence gathered over thousands of years to support the history of the world has been misconstrued by secular scientists to further the "evolutionist agenda." 99.9 percent of scientists and experts in relevant fields are apparently drastically, drastically mistaken, but a tiny group of blue collar yokels have it all figured out. Riiiiiiight.

YECs are a comically ignorant cult of horrendously misguided fruitcakes, but the problem isn't their ludicrous beliefs. For all I care you can believe that God is a space turtle who shits out the world every morning and eats it again every night, and one day the world will hatch open and the almighty Son of Turtle God will emerge from the placenta of the earth and vomit rainbows onto the true believers before carrying them on His back to the promised land of Turtopia. It's a free country, go nuts. The problem with Young Earth Creationists - and most all flavors of Creationists, for that matter - is that they have a disproportionately loud voice, and believe they need to fight back against the "lies" of science in the public sphere. They've introduced the less-crazy-sounding term "intelligent design," and their greatest achievement thus far has been creating the idea, in the media, in the government, and in the minds of many Americans, that there is a "debate" in regards to evolution. Scientists even fall prey to this, feeling the need to counter Creationist pseudo-science to defend the legitimacy of real science. Creationists are like internet trolls, shouting mindless garbage in caps-lock, baiting people who should know better into engaging them in debate. And like internet trolls, Creationists can never lose, because they've thrown logic and reason out the window so they can fight with their own set of nonsensical rules. But here's the thing: There is no debate. None at all. Evolution vs. Young Earth Creationism is not a debate any more than evolution vs. any of the world's thousands of other wildly varying creation myths. There are plenty of places to inject God into the scientific history of the Universe, if that's your thing, but six thousand years ago is not one of them. The earth was not made in six days. The important thing for rational people to grasp is not that they're on the right side of the argument, but that there isn't an argument to begin with, and we need to stop humoring these fundamentalist looney toons as if they have a place at the table table of civilized discourse, and instead focus on exposing them as the dangerous group of extremists they are. Picking and choosing which aspects of hard-won science you agree with is perilous territory, especially when the people who make our laws start to listen (you can dig a little deeper into my thoughts on all that here if you're so inclined).

With all that in mind, I'd like to take you on a shamelessly intolerant journey through the bizarro world of Young Earth Creationist pseudo-science, as we explore... The Creation Museum.

I can't believe they went there, but I'm so glad they did.

There's a fine line between faith and stubbornness. One can only imagine how difficult it must be for Young Earth Creationists, clinging devoutly to beliefs so outrageous even their fellow Christians won't back them up. As a Creationist parent, how do you explain to your curious children that their teachers are lying, their books are lying, their movies and TV shows are lying? How do you successfully indoctrinate a developing mind with your true version of history when everyone else seems determined to beat God's word to a bloody pulp and dance on its corpse? Well, the best way is to isolate yourself from common sense, restricting your child to Creationist literature, Creationist schooling, and now, The Creationist Museum.

Ken Ham wants to eat your childrenFor those of you who haven't heard about this yet (and I'm surprised how many people still haven't), The Creation Museum is the crowning achievement of religious stupidity - a shrine of ignorance that only America's chewy center could play host to. It's a $27 million dollar, 60,000 square foot state-of-the-art complex in Kentucky, designed to look and feel exactly like a science/natural history museum. It has elaborate dioramas of animals and nature, audio-visual presentations, animatronic dinosaurs, fossil replicas, diagrams of geological formations, and even a gift shop. But one small detail sets it distinctly apart from other science museums you've probably visited: There is not a single shred of science on display within its walls. Worse still, its very existence is a bold mockery of science itself.

The museum was built and privately funded by a group called Answers In Genesis, whose founder is a skeletal Australian crackpot named Ken Ham. Ham, as you can see in the picture on the left, looks like an evil Abe Lincoln and would seem very much at home eating human fetuses to sustain his life force. He was indoctrinated from birth with strict Creationist ideology, and has devoted his life to spreading the "true word of God" while waging war on evolutionary science, which he believes to be a termite infestation in the wooden foundation of a good Christian society. Ham thinks of evolution as a sort of "gateway drug" into the Godless world of secularism. After all, he argues, if you don't believe in The Bible's account of Creation, what's to stop you from taking liberties with The Bible's other teachings? Start thinking we all evolved from monkeys and pretty soon you'll be snorting crack, aborting babies, and doing all kinds of fag stuff (in other words, my typical friday evenings), and, well, there goes the neighborhood.

For someone who doesn't believe in evolution, Ham also looks remarkably like Dr. Zaius:

Here's an introduction to Ken Ham's Creationist crazytalk - this is a clip from a presentation Ham made for poor impressionable Christian children, doomed to play out their lives inside a dark chamber of ignorance. Watch how cunningly manipulative he is in his simplified discussion of science vs. The Bible:

Notice the condescending way Ham speaks to the children - as if they're pests he must deal with only because it's necessary to further his agenda. After all, no free-thinking adult would ever subscribe to any of this crap, so the lies have to be soaked into spongy pint-sized brains eager to believe anything they're told. That's the chief motivation behind Mr. Ham's pride and joy - the oily skidmark on the underpants of American reason that is The Creation Museum. I was recently in Kentucky on business and was fortunate enough to take a field trip out to this mecca of lunacy - and of course, I documented every step for your enjoyment.

Upon arrival at the museum, I didn't even have to get any farther than the parking lot to understand I was in hostile territory. We're talking Bush-voting, gun-toting, gay-fearing, redder-than-red state Bible Belt fundamentalism here. Nearly every car in the lot was speckled with Jesus fish, right wing slogans, yellow ribbons, and bumper stickers offering scary religious rhetoric. I had wondered if this museum would be a novelty, a quirky roadside attraction filled with as many snickering skeptics as devout fanatics - but it became quickly clear that indeed, this was a place built with passion for the true believers, here to soak up knowledge and explore a version of junk science that finally makes them feel sane in an insane world. It was my friend and I, the black-clad blue state secular heathens, who were noticeably out of place.

Outside the museum gates stands a large bronze dinosaur, setting the tone for one of the museum's main themes. Why dinosaurs? For one, they've been a huge problem for Young Earth Creationists: how can The Bible's creation story be true if there were giant lizards roaming the earth millions of years before mankind? Historically Creationists have sometimes resorted to thinking of dinosaur fossils as "tests of faith" placed by God Himself, but the Creation Museum revels in its acceptance of the ancient behemoths. They're real, they existed, and everything science has taught us about them is true. Well, except for one tiny little thing: Instead of existing a hundred million years ago, T-Rex and pals co-existed with humans when the earth was made six thousand years ago. Yes, dinosaurs and humans lived together, and the Creation Museum has all the "science" to prove it, including its own interpretation of fossil records.

It's so simple it just might work!

From the very first exhibit, the museum's mission is clear: It knows the real truth, it's joyously unashamed of its beliefs, and it simultaneously welcomes skeptics and comforts believers by presenting a careful counterpoint to every contradicting piece of scientific evidence you could imagine. It does this by picking and choosing the parts of science it agrees with, and filling in the resulting gaping holes in logic with supernatural "just because" reasoning. It's all extremely convincing to its laymen visitors, who already want to believe and have neither the knowledge nor desire to question the faulty research. It's not a coincidence these beliefs appeal largely to uneducated simpletons: Much of the YEC's flawed logic is in line with Kirk Cameron's (hilarious) banana demonstration: Because the scientific reasoning is too convoluted to understand, God must have made it. The easiest way to understand why nature works as efficiently as it does is to just say it was designed that way. Every ounce of it shatters magnificently into pieces under even the gentlest scientific scrutiny, but none of that matters when all logic has been disregarded from step one. There is no way for rationality to win here - it's like trying to prove the sky is blue to someone wearing red-tinted glasses. It's never going to happen, so you might as well just sit back and enjoy sipping on the big fat glass of crazy they've poured for you. And remember: This is not a joke. It's not even a "what if," or a "Bible stories brought to life" type of deal. This is presented as absolute truth, as genuine science, and its hundreds of thousands of followers believe it as fervently as you or I believe in gravity or oxygen or The Force. ...Okay, the last one is just me.

The museum was extremely busy on a weekday afternoon, filled almost exclusively with the stone-washed jeans, tucked-in shirts, and patriotic colors of Wal-Mart brand families, who regarded my friend and me with raised eyebrows and icy stares. They probably thought we were gay, and were afraid they might catch it. They had all come from near and far to show their children the true word of God brought to life like never before, and yes, tots of all ages were prancing excitedly through the exhibits, enthralled with the elaborate set pieces and animatronic creatures. Indeed, one of the first things to see inside the museum walls is an animatronic dinosaur lurking in the bushes amidst man-made structures. A few feet away, a robotic child plays happily, unconcerned about the presence of a vicious reptilian carnivore:

Nooooothing to worry about!

The child is the type of nightmare-inducing hellspawn mutant only someone as creepy as Ken Ham could be pleased with - watch how fucking scary this thing is:

The cohabiting child and dinosaur animatronics are a reminder of the second, far more sinister motivation behind the museum's prominent use of ancient reptiles: kids love dinosaurs. If you have kids, or know kids, or ever were a kid (which seems likely), you know this firsthand. Kids are completely bonkers about dinosaurs, which makes brainwashing them with fundamentalist propaganda that much more difficult when they have to be told dinosaurs never existed. The Creation Museum changes all that, and it uses the fun of dinosaurs as a trojan horse for its dangerous brand of pseudo-science. It's all tailored very carefully to youngsters, and it's incredibly damaging in its presentation of science as a flawed string of fragile theories that can be manipulated as needed to conform to fringe beliefs. When parents indoctrinate their child with these kinds of ideas, and a "science" museum filled with exciting sights and sounds backs it up and answers every lingering question, that child is going to grow up with an extremely warped, frighteningly ignorant perception of the world, and have a very hard time making rational decisions later in life. The museum exists to nourish an unhealthy state of ideological war with the rest of society, and if all of its junior attendees grow up without ever having the opportunity to make their own decisions about religion and faith, then Ken Ham has succeeded marvelously.

No, this didn't make any more sense in the context of the museum.

Anyway, let's follow the museum's journey through the true history of the Universe, as told by The Bible's Old Testament. It all got started when God created the earth in six days. We've all heard that part. He created the land, the seas, all the animals, the birds, the fish, and the dinosaurs, and then, in His own image, He created the first man, Adam. Adam and all of the animals lived in Paradise - but what's any kind of Paradise without naked chicks? So God made Eve out of Adam's rib, and the two of them lived together in the Garden of Eden.

(click to enlarge, in case you hadn't figured that out by now)

They lived in harmony with the animals, including the dinosaurs, because all animals were herbivores in Paradise, and there was no violence, because there was no sin - which also made it perfectly okay for them to be naked all the time. Adam and Eve just hung out all day, naked, eating fruit and playing with their animal friends, and presumably with themselves. They kinda had it made. The only rule was they weren't allowed to eat fruit from this one tree, because, well, they just weren't. It was a bad tree with bad fruit. Seems like a dumb-ass thing to stick in the middle of Paradise, but at least God specifically told Adam to stay the fuck away from the bad fruit tree.

Then one day Satan showed up, in the form of a snake.

I guess security in Paradise was a little lax. Satan liked to hang out in the bad tree and fuck with Adam and Eve, taunting them with his delicious forbidden fruit.

Sure enough, Adam gave in, ate the fruit, and in doing so committed the first sin, thus fucking things up for all the rest of us for all of eternity (THANKS, DOUCHE). God was pissed, kicked Adam and Eve out of Paradise, and God Himself committed the first murder, killing an animal and skinning it to clothe Adam and Eve, because being publicly naked was no longer okay, and that's why Europe has way better beaches than America. The museum illustrates this scene in gruesome detail guaranteed to give children nightmares:


Emphasis mine.

With Paradise gone, everything got shitty. People were mean, they had to work to find food, they had to build shelter. Animals started eating other animals, dinosaurs were now terrible man-eating lizards instead of friendly pets, it rained, people started getting hang nails and paper cuts and diarrhea and bad breath and everything else that sucks about life - all because that cockbag Adam just had to have his fucking fruit.

It seems a tad harsh, punishing all of mankind for one asshole's mistake - but I guess God is like a jealous girlfriend: Her man gives in and tastes that forbidden fruit just once and she'll hold it against him forever. Maybe Dishwalla was onto something.

You know, now that I've been refreshed on the specifics of the whole Garden of Eden thing, I have a few questions I never would have thought of back in Sunday School, for any Creationists who might be reading. I guess I'm just a bit fuzzy on exactly how far the concept of "Paradise" extends:
- Did poop smell different in Paradise?
- Did Adam's balls get itchy in Paradise? Did he ever experience erectile difficulty? Did Eve get her, you know, monthly visitor? None of those things sound like Paradise to me, but The Bible isn't quite clear.
- Before sin entered the world, it was okay to be naked, but was it okay to masturbate? What about butt sex? Creampies? Bukkake? Coprophilia? None of those could be sins if there was no sin yet, right? How about ass-to-mouth? I really just can't see it being called "Paradise" if there's no ass-to-mouth.

Anyway, so humanity carried on for a while post-Paradise, on a steady decline now that it had to deal with murders and famine and herpes. People got so shitty with each other, it seemed, that our feisty Old Testament God wanted a clean slate, so He decided to flood the entire world, killing off everyone except a handful of true believers, led by a guy named Noah. Noah was told by God to build a big fucking boat to survive the flood, which we all know as Noah's Ark. At the Creation Museum, the Ark is presented in historical detail as matter-of-factly as a real museum might present the Apollo 1 or the Enola Gay.

An elaborate life-sized set piece illustrating the Ark's construction is complete with animatronic characters - among them Noah, who apparently wasn't just any Jew, but a cartoon New York Jew (from the future):

The next section of the museum displays models of the completed Ark as Noah loads it with two of each kind of animal in the entire world - including, of course, the dinosaurs:

Dinosaurs, naturally, were still around in Noah's time, and he was able to fit them on the Ark by choosing smaller juvenile dinosaurs. Obviously. But how did he get all these animals from around the world to line up and march calmly, single file, into his Ark? Well, God helped out with that part. Obviously. Creation "science" has a habit of following common sense until it hits a wall, then using divine intervention to explain the rest. How convenient.

So Noah and the animals boarded the Ark, and it rained for forty days and forty nights or whatever, flooding the entire world, leaving all the sinners to drown, but only after getting eaten by tigers, according to this diorama:

When I was looking at this particular display, a mother was standing next to me with her child, no older than two years. She pointed at this gruesome miniature scene and told her impressionable spawn, in a lullaby-soft tone, "Look at all the sinners, they're all dying because they didn't obey God. Look how sad they are! They're all dying! But Noah is okay in the Ark because he accepted God in his heart." Right. Get that toddler primed for a lifetime of God-fearing guilt. That's what a two year old should be thinking about, you fucking twatbag.

The museum spends a lot of time with the flood, because that's the YEC method of explaining more or less everything: fossils, continents, The Grand Canyon, the Ice Age, Mt. Everest, and any other geographic or atmospheric phenomena that would seemingly require thousands or millions of years in order to exist. It's such a perfect explanation for every fossil record ever discovered, that Ken Ham's little butt-pal Buddy Davis wrote a fun song about it - a cheerful little children's tune called "Billions Of Dead Things." Enjoy:

I don't know about you, but I'd find it just a tad morbid to hear my five year old singing songs about all the billions of dead things buried by a flood designed to kill all the sinners. But hey, I am a sinner - and a damned good one at that - so what do I know? Unfortunately, neither the song nor the museum offer any satisfying explain as to why a God who could create an entire planet and populate it with millions of species in less than a week would need such a convoluted plan to get rid of all the sinners.

When the flood was finished, Noah came off the Ark with all his animals, and God told them to "be fruitful and multiply," which meant, of course, that animals should just keep fucking until they rapidly transformed into a wide variety of new species, as illustrated in the diagram below:

You're probably looking at that diagram thinking it looks an awful lot like an animal evolving over millions of years. Um, no. This is a post-flood horse changing over a few thousand years. DUH! It's all explained very clearly in the fine print:

That explains it.

Right. See? Divine intervention. Oh, and what ever happened to dinosaurs? Well, they lived for a while, and then just kind of died out, as recently as four hundred years ago, like any other endangered species. The obvious evidence that dinosaurs were around even after the flood? Dragons! Obviously. Yes, dragon myths around the world were the result of real dinosaurs co-existing with man. They were hunted by King Arthur in Medieval England, and used Flintstones-style in Ancient China:

And there you have it. The real, true, history of the world. And if you don't believe it, well, the museum has a place for you, too. At one point, the Creationist history lesson takes a divisive turn, interrupted with a detour into, literally, "Sin City."

Visitors walk through a dark, eerily-lit alley, wallpapered with magazine articles chronicling the downfall of Christian values at the hands of a modern society that turned its back on God. Sirens wail, trash litters the corners, graffiti covers the walls - it's a fear-mongering, xenophobic red state portrayal of secular, crime-ridden urban wastelands like New York or Los Angeles, meant to embody everything that terrifies America's heartland. Broken windows look into broken secular homes, where screens display all-too-common scenarios of Godless teenagers getting pregnant, drinking, smoking marijuana. Sounds like a hell of a party to me, but apparently it's the work of Satan, and it's all because of the poison of evolutionary science, which is unsubtly illustrated in a laughably melodramatic scene where the giant wrecking ball of "millions of years" is shown smashing into the side of a church:

We'd probably use explosives, if you want to get technical. ..Big Bang?  ...Get it?

This is the Jack Chick brand of divisive, spook-show extremist Christianity that I would have been disappointed to see left out of the museum. After all, what's Christianity without a hearty dose of fear? In the cold concrete halls that follow, spooky sound effects of screams and fire accompany projections displaying the horrors of a sinful world: Drug addiction, abortion, natural disasters, Nazis, disease, poverty. Let me reiterate that Hitler and abortion seem to be treated as equally evil in this display. You can see the fear in the wide eyes of young children as they pass through these halls, their developing brains wiring the foundation for a lifetime at odds with anything perceived to be unChristian - science included.

Like all good museums, this one ends by dumping you into a gift shop. Here you'll find hundreds of t-shirts, books, and DVDs chock full of delusional YEC propaganda. The t-shirts weren't as ironically awesome as I'd hoped (Christians aren't exactly famous for their fashion sense), but naturally, I had to pick up a DVD. I found one designed for kids, a combination of lectures and songs presented by Ken Ham himself, carefully designed to cure your little ones of all rational thought. It's called "Dinosaurs, Genesis, & The Gospel," and it doesn't disappoint. You've already seen a couple clips from this idiotic masterpiece, but here's another collection of highlights for your enjoyment:

As fun as it is to laugh in jaw-dropped amazement at the idiotic ranting of a madman, there's a genuine danger in all of this that shouldn't be discounted: These people are fiercely indoctrinating their children, spawning new generations of fanatics who believe themselves engaged in a culture war with the world at large, and want to discredit science and change our laws to get their way. Being in a culture war with drug use and teen pregnancy is one thing, but when you set your cross hairs on science - that which is the foundation of every aspect of our modern lives, and the key to advancing our civilization and preserving our planet - suddenly religious tolerance has reached its limit. As rational people we must not be afraid to call these fanatics crazy - to trivialize them and dump them in the rubbish bin of culture alongside other dangerously deranged fringe groups. Young Earth Creationism, or even Intelligent Design, deserve not to be engaged in debate, not to be heard in government, but rather a spot in society's looney bin alongside Scientology, the Klu Klux Klan, NAMBLA, neocons, Juggalos, moon landing hoax conspiracy theorists, adult babies, and the RIAA. But don't think for one second I'm advocating the removal of a museum like this. Religious freedom is an important right, and as you can tell, I love indulging in some good ol' fashioned nutty religious pageantry - I just want to make sure that we, as a society, never ever allow this to gain any acceptance as a valid alternative to hard-won science.

On the way out of the museum, you can get your picture taken in front of a green screen, and purchase a souvenir photo of yourself inserted into one of several scenes from The Bible world history. Naturally, my friend and I chose the dinosaur scene. Here we are, reenacting the daily struggles of our ancestors:

For as wordy of an article as this is, it's all kind of summed up right there, isn't it?

*AUTHOR'S NOTE: Since this article was published, it has been brought to my attention in the very lively comments section that, as recently as 2004, 60 percent of Americans take the Bible's account of creation as literal truth. Not 60 percent of Christians - 60 percent of Americans. I now remember hearing this statistic at the time - apparently it caused enough mental trauma to warrant repression. I tried to give people of faith the benefit of the doubt in my assumption that most Christians subscribed to a brand of Creationism which adheres at least slightly to reality. This, it seems, was a drastic mistake. In reviewing this article, please disregard all references to Young Earth Creationism as "fringe," and emphasize all references to "bat-shit crazy."

Digg it, bitches!

If you liked this article, you might also like:
- Please Stop Making Fun of Scientology. No, Really.
- Don't Get Too Excited, Part Two: We're Still a Nation of Bigots
- Can We Please, as a Culture, Just Move On?
- Demonbaby's Election Day Hideous Patriotic T-Shirt Extravaganza!
- When Pigs Fly: The Death of Oink, The Birth of Dissent, and a Brief History of Record Industry Suicide

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

wow. that might be the most incredible and scary thing i've ever seen. i had no idea such a thing existed! thanks for the post, brilliant as always, good to have you back!

6:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

all hail rob, we've finally gotten what we've been waiting for...
an update

6:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh, God......I'd heard about this, and I think they're making one here in Florida, too. Ew. I would love to go there with a group of my friends and just fuck around. While you were there, other than what you mentioned, did people react a certain way (toward you and your friend, I mean), or talk to you, or anything? I mean, you have to have been laughing out loud at some of those exhibits.

6:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love that you actually paid the fee and went in. Very brave! I'd be afraid they would want me to drink the kool-aid at the end.

You must be great fun to hang out with.

6:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

dragons!! ahahaha fucking dragons! brilliant.

6:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

those crazy pre-flood heathens STILL aren't wearing clothing.
Damnit, haven't Adam and Eve taught you ANYTHING about shame?!

6:31 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

the tigers ripped it off! duh!

6:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Holy" shit! How could people belive in this. The "Bible" is the worts fictional novel, what humanity made in history...

7:33 AM  
Blogger Boyce said...

Haha great...shame we don't have too many of those dragons around today given how well they seem to co-exist with people. How many species must have become extinct as a result of being trapped on a boat with dinosaurs for six weeks?

7:40 AM  
Anonymous Joe said...

It was a LONG time in the making, but it was a fantastic read. Look's like you had a blast anyway!

8:20 AM  
Anonymous UKMartin said...

Ewww, that's far worse than anything on Population Paste. I hope you guys end up with some rational politicians so we can forget about this shit. Poor kids though. :(

8:31 AM  
Blogger Ratexla Kettleburn aka Yoze said...

Hmmmmyeah Boyce... Not as many as went extinct from the inbreeding? :)

Rawb, awesome post as usual. GAHR. I'd actually never heard of that museum but it looks... XD... neat... XD I spank you for giving them >1 cent. :)
*secretly extends to-do list for any future kentucky visits*

Yes, YECs would do well to stay off the ball field of science since it's not even the same fucking GAME. I'm a bit afraid they'll mistake the lack of a debate for a lack of arguments though. (It's not like net trolls fishing for trouble have to BELIEVE what they're saying, hehe.) Oh well.
"Ignore the bullies! Just ignore the bullies!" "Must... not... argue..."
Not that evo-bio is my specialy. :p
"...but when you set your cross hairs on science - that which is the foundation of every aspect of our modern lives, and the key to advancing our civilization and preserving our planet..."

a) Save the planet including us using scieeeeeence :D

b) If you can't beat em, stick The Creation: An Appeal to Save Life on Earth in their hands (I haven't read this but I'm pretty sure it rocks)

c) Science finally overthrown ==> our society is blasted back to medieval times / nonexistence and cannot do as much damage anymore - oops :o

Incidentally, I ordered "The God delusion" by Dawkins this morning... :) Will it inspire me to ARGUE about creation? :p
Btw Rob, are you a Dawkins fanboy, cuz you kind of sound like (a potential) one.
(Oh and I also ordered "The world without us". ;B )

8:37 AM  
Blogger Ratexla Kettleburn aka Yoze said...

TYPO-CORRECTION: specialTy......

8:39 AM  
Anonymous Brianna said...

Wow. This post is a supreme birthday present... even though it's a day early. Thanks anyway.

9:29 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for the post. I was driving through Kentucky not too long and really wanted to go check this out. I didn't believe my friend when he told me it existed. I have mixed feelings about giving my money to institutions I disagree with though, so it was nice to see it without feeling like I backed up the YEC.

9:33 AM  
Anonymous jens said...

wow. finally a long-awaited update. brilliant! you have to read "david hume: an inquiry concerning human understanding" BTW. keep on with your great stuff!

10:11 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

thanks for the article, and by the way:

10:11 AM  
Anonymous Pavel said...

Now THAT was scary.
Great post that made me happy that I live in one of the most atheistic/agnostic countries in the world.
You were here last year, I hope you'll come back again soon : ).

10:42 AM  
Blogger Amy said...

Present changes are too small and too slow to explain these differences, suggesting God provided organisms with special tools to change rapidly. (emphasis obviously mine)

What, like reproductive organs? I guess their emphasis is on the "change rapidly" part.

Yet another reason to never set foot in Kentucky unless I absolutely have to.

11:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So sad, the youtube vids are already down...

11:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

youtube vids are still up... try reloading? i don't doubt they'll get squelched by the creationists soon though, if they know how to use the internet...

11:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"The Creation Museum" sounds like a good plot for a southpark

Good Work Rob!

12:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i need to take a moment to calm down after admiral ackbar's cameo. i almost spit all over my monitor. amazing.

12:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I live in canada, we don't really ever hear about creationism or YEC's, we have some crazy mormons but they keep to themselves. last night i had an argument with my co-workers( a born again and a minister) because they like to attack me for being a vegetarian. they "believe in the food chain" and all life was put here to serve us so we should rape and plunder the world until jesus delivers us from this hell. fucking nutbags should be locked up and not be allowed to vote or procreate how can rational people doubt science? anyway great post Rob

2:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I live in Louisville (totally different from the rest of the state), I recall it made the front page on the courier journal when it opened, and there was a note about it turning a year old, but I've never had the desire to go, I'd either be escorted out because of the laughter, or because of the RAAAAGE. Seriously though, if you have to go to kentucky, stay as close to Louisville as possible, it's one of the few places with any semblance of integrity, apart from a few outposts.

3:14 PM  
Blogger Erica said...

I couldn't even finish the first youtube clip. I had to stop before I put my fist through my monitor.
I can't believe people allow their kids to be brainwashed like that.

The Adam and Eve and dinosaur bits were hilarious though.

I've often wondered myself if they indeed did poop in paradise.

The Sunday school I went to freaked out over the dinosaur question, let alone addressing pooping.

I think that was the last time I ever went to church. :P

4:10 PM  
Blogger Helena said...

Brilliant read! I wish we had shit that extreme over here, but apparently I live in one of the least religious countries in the world, so... I'll have to settle for your adventures.

I remember going to church here for a project in high school, we were going to interview some pastor of some sort. I was really curious about what she had to say about gay couples for some reason, so I asked her and all she could say was "Well, we accept everyone here and everyone should be treated equally." Wtf? Disappointing. Even the actual church-attending, Bible loving Christians in Sweden are boring - and those are the ones that I would consider "extreme" here.

You know we're all waiting for the next post now, don't you?

4:16 PM  
Blogger Scott said...

Holy shitballs, that's like 9 articles in one. I ain't going to lie, I haven't read the whole thing since I just got off work and am kind of sick at staring at computer screens at the moment, but when you get a chance you need to check out Buffalo Beast's hilarious take on the Creationist Museum:

Let there be Retards.

Will read the rest later, looks to be funny/enlightening/sad.

4:17 PM  
Blogger Ratexla Kettleburn aka Yoze said...

Ah, but anon 2.01, don't you know that MIGHT IS RIGHT? ;P
+ I think I remember getting an invitation for Sunday school when I was wee.
Motha: "Would you like to go to Sunday school?"
Rat: "WTF? Did someone say school? On weekends?! *runs*"
But I must admit I never considered the paradise poop issue. :C

Speakin of Sweden and plundering... A couple of years ago, the prime minister said summat like:
"Nature exists for the sake of humanity."
And that was the secularised place. :)
I'll admit he seems to have learned a few things since then... :/ Got elected just BEFORE the climate debate started getting of the ground. Gnah.

4:33 PM  
Anonymous b said...

I bet those Jesus Camp kids love this place! It seems like a really cruel trap for their already brainwashed young minds...
Just reading about it will give me nightmares, I'm sure... But it's a good read, again, you touched one of the burning issues of this ever declining society. Have you seen Zeitgeist's "Truth about Religion"? It's on Youtube, split in 3 parts:
That's one very interesting scientific investigation, definitely worth seeing!

4:38 PM  
Blogger Ratexla Kettleburn aka Yoze said...

1.30 am additions:
+I don't really fu...ndamentally care if he BELIEVED that nature for some detour-y reason exists for the sake of humanity, but hey, you know how those statements usually continue. :D At the time I idly wondered if his reason was "Uh, but everything we use exists for our sake." I've seen that one before.
Oh, and technically one can believe that this was all for the people and still realise that we NEED to be careful, right, the way we don't - [insert method of juvenile matricide here]

My ass he meant that, though. :)

4:46 PM  
Blogger Ratexla Kettleburn aka Yoze said...

Above goddamn distinction between nature and mankind = simplification.

I'm outta here now. <:B

4:49 PM  
Anonymous Tiffy said...

I am absolutely seething with jealousy that you went to this monument to idiocy. I'd love to go, but, really, I'm not going to the backwoods of Kentucky. As you mentioned, they don't dig too hard on us black-clad sinners from urban wastelands.

That last picture is comedy gold, by the way. I'm surprised they didn't toss the two of you out as soon as you walked in the joint.

5:02 PM  
Anonymous Garrett said...

Those dino designs totally rip off Jurassic Park.

5:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm not sure if I should cry or laugh . People who think like that should not be allowed to procreate.

6:45 PM  
Anonymous Mark said...

All you needed to do to prove the insanity of these people was show the picture of strawberries GROWING ON TREES. How do they explain that bullshit away?

I realise that is probably the smallest logical inaccuracy but for some reason I can't let it go.

p.s hooray for the update. Don't leave it so long next time!

6:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This URL of this image made me laugh:

6:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm scared

7:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

new here about Oink from today...
This is so disrupting to me.

8:02 PM  
Blogger E. Kubinek said...

I am baffled when fundamentalists seem to think they can have their black berries, SUV's, central air, and all other modern nicety - but not science, open minded acceptance of others, or any other part of what it is to live in the modern technological world.

If the big bad Modern world is just TOO frightening and horrid, THEN LEAVE!
Its called being AMISH.

They clearly don't really bother with science in life style (so no need to explain it), and don't really have time to think about let alone debate how archeology contradicts biblical teaching, mostly because they have to spend every minute of the day engaged in chores that allow them to survive.

Why these people don't see that their comfortable 21st century lives were birthed from science just totally baffles me.

8:30 PM  
Blogger Jessiqa said...

Well, not every animal made it onto the Ark. The unicorns were to busy playing, according to S. Silverstein, and that's why you don't see any of them around today.

I'd probably have more to comment on all this, but I feel an overwhelming desire to listen to Bill Cosby's Noah routine instead. Right!

9:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you trust science to much.

9:36 PM  
Blogger DarkFarmer said...

This post has been removed by the author.

9:39 PM  
OpenID truthspew said...

Thank you for the insightful analysis of the Young Earth Creationists. They really are a psychotic bunch aren't they.

10:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sorry to tell you all but we were created to serve and worship god. Not the way you think. Think DNA and evolving apes. We were slaves to an alien race. Knowledge was forbidden. The burning bush was a bright light on a bush. The only way 2000 yrs ago to get light at night was fire. And if you did see gods face you were put to death. Not if see god you die. WAKE UP. They are still around !!!!

10:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why is this so scary to you all. You all claim to be "open-mined", however you shut out the very idea of something that differs from what you believe. Call it what you will, but truth is truth. There is no kool-aid involved, just opening your heart and mind to the reality that God is real. You do realize that evolution is still a theory and not a scientific law? Why is this? It is taught as fact, but it is still a theory that still presents holes that can not be explained. Why is it so difficult for you believe that this world was designed? We are not products of random chaos, but a creation lovingly designed by its creator. I pray that someday you will see that this is not scary but the path to truth and peace.

10:23 PM  
Blogger blake Montie said...

So...this probably isn't the friendliest of places to put my comment, but I feel like it can't do too much harm, cause you guys seem to be very open minded and able to have a liberal view of things. I'd just like to say that I am a christian, and I do believe that Jesus was God's son sent to die on the cross to pay for my sins so I can go to heaven. There are other true stories of course, placed in the bible for different situations of our lives so that we can be guided by God. I also believe that some stories are symbolic, and are not true, but still are inspired by God to have an impact in peoples lives. I'd just like to point out as well that not all of us are moronic close minded idealists, I love reading about intelligent design just as much as I find the theory of evolution interesting and intriguing. I try and work on being well read on both topics so I can converse with both extremes. The fact is though that the truth of it for me and a lot of christians is we don't particularly care when or where we came from, we believe God did it, we believe God still has a hand in our lives, and we can't answer every question, we don't know every answer, we just have faith that it's the truth, is that really so evil to you guys? Enough has happened in my life that I believe there is a God who simply wants me to have a relationship with him, is that so wrong?

10:23 PM  
Anonymous Mr. BK said...

Hey. This is America where people have a right to be stupid. This is further proof that the basic building block of the universe is NOT hydrogen. It's stupidity!

10:26 PM  
Blogger blake Montie said...

So...this probably isn't the friendliest of places to put my comment, but I feel like it can't do too much harm, cause you guys seem to be very open minded and able to have a liberal view of things. I'd just like to say that I am a christian, and I do believe that Jesus was God's son sent to die on the cross to pay for my sins so I can go to heaven. There are other true stories of course, placed in the bible for different situations of our lives so that we can be guided by God. I also believe that some stories are symbolic, and are not true, but still are inspired by God to have an impact in peoples lives. I'd just like to point out as well that not all of us are moronic close minded idealists, I love reading about intelligent design just as much as I find the theory of evolution interesting and intriguing. I try and work on being well read on both topics so I can converse with both extremes. The fact is though that the truth of it for me and a lot of christians is we don't particularly care when or where we came from, we believe God did it, we believe God still has a hand in our lives, and we can't answer every question, we don't know every answer, we just have faith that it's the truth, is that really so evil to you guys? Enough has happened in my life that I believe there is a God who simply wants me to have a relationship with him, is that so wrong?

10:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you unbeliever evolutionist liberals are all going to hell where you will have constant constipation and be raped by men who look like Richard Simmons.

i will pray for you in the name of Allah! Allah Allah Allah!

10:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

As a resident of the good ole Bluegrass state, I'd love to mention that there are still a TON of people utterly sickened by the existence of such a shamefully ignorant "museum" in Kentucky. Tons of people.

However, I will also point out that this "museum" is conveniently located near the equally shamefully ignorant "Big Bone Lick State Park" in Covington. That is not a joke, that really exists and they're located nearby.

I really really hope someone comes out of the woodwork and throws their hands up to say "loook, sorry guys, this is all a joke, its over now, we're blowing it up."

Sigh... and our state motto is "where education pays."

10:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I liked the picture of the creepy model kid petting the prehistoric house cat. Kind of had the Fred Flintstone vibe going there.
Right before she was probably eaten. Or did God intelligently inform the sabre-toothed whatever "this is a FRIEND! not lunch!"??

10:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

As Mr T always says "I Pity The Fool"!

We need castrate these fools to prevent them from creating more fools!

11:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

u guys are complete faggots and if we ever saw you we would beat ur nerd asses down.
why would u go to our museum if u didnt believe the words of god?

aparently ur to stupid to understand the bible.
u "devolutionists" should all just get aids already from anal sex!

11:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous 11:15 PM,

You sound like you need a big *hug*!

11:17 PM  
Blogger Camden said...

wow, just wow. i never ever comment on blogs, but thank you so very much for taking one for the team and venturing into the very depths of Mordor.

11:34 PM  
Blogger I Fought Piranhas said...

Oh dear, its so hard to align yourself with your Christian brethren sometimes. As a Christian (as well as a former Ken Hamm advocate, unfortunately), I see a lot masquerading as Christianity, but in reality is actually little more than a ghetto culture looking for easy answers to difficult questions. This place is probably one of them. However, I do have to point out that even though Ken Hamm has done a hack job when it comes to Science (and sometimes interpretation of scripture for that matter), your critique of Christianity is reduced to throwing argumentative daggers at a straw-man. Your knowledge about basic Christian tenants is quite limited. I get upset seeing Nietzsche's "God is Dead" statement on that gravestone, as that is a grave misunderstanding of the man's arguments. Don't make the same mistake the YEC's do, please.

11:34 PM  
Blogger jorgipogi said...


PEOPLE SHOULD BE REMINDED THAT THESE PEOPLE WHO BELIEVE IN SCIENCE WITH CLOSED EYES AND TRY TO DISCARD CREATIONISM WERE THE ONES WHO BEGAN KILLING THE JEWS IN THE NAZI TIMES. THEY WERE CALLED THE ANTI-CHRIST. But, in reality what they should have been called was anti-creationism. It WAS THE MAIN REASON FOR the NAZI KILLINGs. They wanted to kill people who believe in God or Creationism because they thought it affected the development of the strong German race. Thus, it WAS NOT all HITLER's fault. Scientists and philosophers PROMOTED THOSE IDEAS too. It WAS the main reason why THEY WANTED TO KILL THE JEWS. THEY WANTED TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BELIEVING IN CREATIONISM OR GOD.

11:38 PM  
Anonymous Julia said...

"As fun as it is to laugh in jaw-dropped amazement at the idiotic ranting of a madman, there's a genuine danger in all of this that shouldn't be discounted: These people are fiercely indoctrinating their children, spawning new generations of fanatics who believe themselves engaged in a culture war with the world at large, and want to discredit science and change our laws to get their way."

This is, I think, the most important point of the whole post. What you believe in isn't the issue; it's what you do with that belief. When it's used to undermine science, supporters of science have the right to speak out against that.

And I agree that the use of horror and fear to intimidate someone into believing is reprehensible.

Anonymous @ 10:23 — You're using the wrong definition of "theory". See "In scientific usage, a theory does not mean an unsubstantiated guess or hunch, as it can in everyday speech. A theory is a logically self-consistent model or framework for describing the behavior of a related set of natural or social phenomena."

11:49 PM  
Anonymous Andy said...

I believe in God. Museum makes me sad. :-(

12:08 AM  
Anonymous thedaysciencedied said...

society is truly rotting from the inside out. how is this monstrosity possible in the year 2008, i thought we sorted all this out in the late 1800's?

this 'museum' is quantitative proof that darwin was wrong! we are apparently also capable of survival of the idiotic and DE-evolution.

i hope homo-sapiens split into another classification with homo-creationist ironically de-evolving back to apes. and the rest of us watching on from the outside the enclosure at the zoo.

12:12 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I saw something about this on one of the discovery networks and thought it was ridiculous. Normally I wouldnt read something that was this long but I absolutely loved your humor in it, especially the god turtle and ham looking like an evil lincoln that eats babies. keep it up!

12:31 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That little song that pops up in the first video during "bible is the history of the universe" bs is the same little .wav file that plays when Slysoft CloneDVD finishes burning a DVD!

1:01 AM  
Blogger V.M.L. said...


This museum is turning me more of an atheist than a believer.

1:01 AM  
Anonymous Nathan said...

A fool sayin in his heart that there is no God.

1:16 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I like how the ark looks like a modern day oil supertanker complete with the modern day bulbous bow that wasn't seen on ships pre 1950's. The whole replica looks a lot like the side view of a supertanker. Check out wikipedia
Speaking of the ark why didn't Noah take dinosaurs on board the ark? He was told to take two of every animal. Wouldn't they be here today? The they started eating humans or needed to sacrifice for fossils doesn't hold up. I mean lions and tigers and sharks eat people why were large carnivorous dinos told they had to go why not all the animals that can poison or kill or impede humans?? Especially if you are God and trying to cleanse the earth why not cleanse it back to harmony?

1:41 AM  
OpenID justbolognese said...

Wow. This is incredibly scary, I can't believe how much they must have spent just to build that brainwashing "museum". Another reason why I'm so glad to live in France.

2:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

excellently written article

2:58 AM  
Blogger Ben said...

@jorgipogi: Dude, did you just call all non-Creationists Nazis? Is your view of even recent history *that* fucked up?

The thing is, there is still room for a God if you want to belive. There will most likely always be room for a God since any story about the beginning always has the question "but what was before that?". Of course, that leads to the question "What was there before God?", but apparently it's acceptable for God to have always existed (google "it's turtles all the way down").

It'd just be nice if people used a bit more logic in their thinking, something that clearly isn't being done when people say the Earth is 6000 years old...

2:58 AM  
Blogger gracearcasm said...

-weeps with joy-

3:35 AM  
Blogger Ratexla Kettleburn aka Yoze said...


3:56 AM  
Anonymous DemNuggets said...

Hilarious. Good to get an inside scoop without having to haul ass over to Kentucky and deal with the nutters.

@jorgipogi: I can't tell if this post is serious or not. It's so outrageously ridiculous that it seems like it just *has* to be real AND has to be trolling. "it is strange that in the vast animal kingdom there was only one lucky monkey that decided to develope into us. THE OTHER MONKEYS DECIDED TO STAY DUMB." Lol, what?

4:03 AM  
Blogger gracearcasm said...

Also, JORGIPOGI - I'm sorry, but people like you DO need to be cleansed from the gene pool.

4:34 AM  
Anonymous blix said...

awesome article.
Linked to it from

4:58 AM  
Blogger Pepe said...

The sad part is that children will be indoctrinated and forced to put up with that crap. Adults, believe what you want, but polluting kids' mids like this is abuse.

5:56 AM  
Blogger astral voices said...

Im a great fan of science but you have to realize that most science is wrong! New theories supersede established theories etc. Maths though is possibly an exception. So whether you believe in the latest scientific theories or in creationism I think your belief will be shown to be based on fiction. I also dont necessarily believe that man is at the pinnacle of the animal kingdom, maybe man was created from a bad mutation of a monkey. Many would prefer to be a monkey in the jungle than a human who has to go to work, pay taxes etc etc. Great article though.

6:10 AM  
Blogger Ratexla Kettleburn aka Yoze said...

AV, I think the important difference is that theories are falsifiable, faith ain't.
So far the theory of gravity has worked well, but it will be reworked if one day you let go of a rock in your hand and it doesn't fall. The scientific explanation for that will not be divine intervention or any equivalent of it. However if these YEC's are presented with evidence negating their beliefs, it's planted by Satan, etc.
So nobody please pretend that religion = science.

And there is indeed no "pinnacle of creation". :D That notion supposedly comes from fascists abusing Darwin's ideas. :p

6:28 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That whole "gun-toting" comment was not needed. Maybe I am just an anomaly as the gun owning, secular heathen that I am, but since when does liking to shoot make you succumb to any of this bullshit?

7:10 AM  
Blogger Scott said...

It's funny how some of the self-described Christians in the comments (obviously not all) resort to such wonderful gems as "u guys are complete faggots and if we ever saw you we would beat ur nerd asses down.", or "you unbeliever evolutionist liberals are all going to hell where you will have constant constipation and be raped by men who look like Richard Simmons." (I ain't going to lie, that actually made me laugh, out loud, even if it wasn't a religious zealot and just someone adding fuel to the fire)...well, so much for all that forgiveness I've been hearing about then, eh?

"You all claim to be "open-mined", however you shut out the very idea of something that differs from what you believe."
Why is it that if you're a liberal, or lean to the left a little more than others, that if you disagree with something (or think it is totally batshit insane), that you are suddenly 'not so open minded'? There's a massive difference between being open-minded to the point where you will see things for yourself and make your decisions based off of that experience, as opposed to accepting everything as truth without any sort of criticism or questioning; the latter doesn't make you open minded, it makes you easily malleable. The problem is that this blatant disregard of factual information in place of the untested, unproven, and frankly unknowable is presented as "fact" and used as propaganda to be fed to those who don't know any better, which unfortunately there is a lot of those here in the US. Implant this kind of 'info' into enough kids and you got your next generation of diehard religious fanatics using their polluted beliefs to influence policy nationwide over the beliefs of others. We've seen plenty evidence of that with the pro-choice/pro-life issue.

"Im a great fan of science but you have to realize that most science is wrong!"
lol, whut?

Caps lock is not your friend.

7:11 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Ken Ham,

"Were you there" when the Bible was written?

I look forward to your response.


7:30 AM  
Blogger Adrian said...

Holy shit, some of the comments here are getting a bit creepy and out of hand. Excellent post, by the way.

8:01 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i think we need another flood. perhaps starting around that museum. i cannot believe that america has got such a large population of unconscious, non-thinking cunts, (including the president).

8:14 AM  
Blogger Hulaman345 said...

I agree with you that this museum has a lot of ridiculous things. I agree that many YECs are practically insane.
The thing is, there are many real scientists who oppose evolution on scientific grounds.
If anyone could rebut the arguments in this book, , I would be interested indeed.

8:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Got here through digg -- I really like your mixtape. you should have a

8:45 AM  
Blogger Scott said...

How 'bout a warning before linking to a 540 page PDF.

8:50 AM  
Blogger E. Kubinek said...

Dude that "Nazi killed the Jews to stop people from believing in god" comment is SO out of hand it has to be a troll.
(and if NOT, wow - you just LOST the "what would Jesus do?" game dude, seriously)
What cranked out Bible thumper actually reads good blogs anyway?
And wouldn't the internet make them "worldly" - isn't that a no-no to their set?

Like I said, don't like the modern world science and all she has to offer you, go be Amish. You will be happier.

8:54 AM  
Anonymous Michael Parker said...

This is absolutely what is wrong with America. We can tout how (enter religion) are stupid and judgmental on our blogs, keeping them at arms length and discounting every word and belief held so dear to these people, and at no point do we ever consider that these are decent human beings. Buddhist, Christian, Muslim, whatever - doesn't every human being deserve respect? Yet we walk into buildings such as this and suddenly we can make sweeping generalizations about an entire religion. 'The people that made this place are idiots, therefore anyone who walks into this building, and indeed every Christian, is an idiot'. How is this fair to anyone? And it's not as if every exhibit in this 'museum' is inherently false. These assertions (if your review is fair) are no more ludicrous than evolution, or any other notion of how nature works for that matter. Consider that we do not even fully understand the workings of thunder and lightning - we have many theories, but we simply do not know the answers. Scientist, religious zealot, or neither - can we not show respect for each other's theories/beliefs?

9:28 AM  
Anonymous Marcus A. said...

@Michael Parker:

He's not making sweeping generalizations about the whole just religion - just the idiots who walk into a museum and think that all the evidence in front of them is just a test from god.

Just because a fairy tale has been believed N times or for N thousands of years doesn't make it immune from criticism, argument and rational thought. Sorry, your believes are not sacred to me.

And by the way, there are those of us in the science community that know a great deal about how lightning and thunder work. The reason we do is that we've studied it from above and below, created falsifiable hypotheses and tested them in controlled ways.

Just because you are woefully ignorant of the way the natural world works doesn't mean that you can make a sweeping generalization about the rest of us.

I hope that one of these days you wake up.

11:27 AM  
Anonymous Marcus A. said...

-believes +beliefs

11:33 AM  
Anonymous Brandy said...

I LOVE how the best argument these idiots could come up with is 'Where you there??'

11:54 AM  
Anonymous DemNuggets said...

@Brandy: Especially since that implies you need hard, eye-witness proof to make a claim, which is exactly what religion avoids doing.

12:42 PM  
Blogger Scott said...

I've heard of this museum (and other ones like it) before, but this article was very nicely done and really showcased the that freaky place. Thanks for this.

12:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

when you get a chance you need to check out Buffalo Beast's hilarious take on the Creationist Museum:

Let there be Retards.

Dear lord, that is the funniest thing I've seen this year. I think I broke a rib laughing. Thank you for bringing that to my attention. Truly, this exemplifies the proper level of respect that Creationists deserve.

1:55 PM  
Blogger Emi said...

You're a beautiful man, Rob! Ho ho.
And I admire your...well, your ability to control your ire. Had I been in the same situation, I probably would have gone mad and tried to talk sense into all those brainwashed idiots. And probably been thrown out. Oh well. Creationism really does scare me...

Although, I have to say you shouldn't lump Moon landing hoax theorists in the same looney group- they just have a healthy mistrust of the government, which is always sensible nowadays, aah haha haa.

2:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

God gave us the capacity to create science. Science helps us understand the world. To see someone use scientific inventions to try and disprove science shows how small and fearful their minds are. Fearful minds will always look for small answers which confirm their fears.

3:42 PM  
Blogger Copy Paste Repeat said...

Will this just be a 'point and laugh' documentary film... or something to make us really think?:

3:52 PM  
OpenID ravery said...

Actually, anonymous, as a resident of Kentucky, you should know that our state motto is "united we stand, divided we fall." But anyway...I've lived in Lexington, Kentucky my whole life, and things like the creation museum just kill me when I hear about them, because it's another reason for people to think we're all backwoods, redneck cousin fuckers. I refuse to go, because it's the stupidest use of $27 million I can think of. Luckily, it's so close to Ohio, they have to deal with it as well. What business were you doing in Kentucky? Next time you're here, drop a line to the heathens, we know where all the good times are.

5:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm really sorry for you US-Americans - living in a country with a such immense number of braindead christian fundamentals must be very frustrating. But, as everything from the USA, it'll someday hit Europe: Some ill fucks out there plan to create a museum like this in Berlin.

Freedom of speech is a good value - but if you're telling children lies, your children will become liars. Christian liars.

America's so concerned about muslim fundamentals that they even ignore how many ignorant christian morons dominate their day-by-day life. Look at McCain and Obama - both have a christian background and as far as I heard Americans would prefer everything over a non-christian president (e. g. they would vote for a Homosexual, an Afroamerican - but never ever for an Atheist). This is your heritage - the heritage of the brainfucked pilgrim fathers and their idiotic immoral ideas.

We Germans don't have very proud stories to tell from our past - in fact, our people have been complete idiots in the last century, aggressive and war-mongering. Fascists.

But a big part of the US-Americans tend to take this role for the 21. century. Be aware. Don't let this happen.

5:39 PM  
Blogger Alice said...

Re: Controlling the ire.

What I appreciated most about this post is that it didn't plummet into downright cruelty. I get extremely uncomfortable with name-calling when it comes to religious people: "Idiots," "retards," "silly," "believe in something they have no proof, so they're stupid," etc. Religion itself is separate from making someone "stupid." You can be an extremely intelligent religious person, willing to explore what's out there, or you can be a dumb atheist.

Anyway, just thought the line was walked well between blatant bashing and snarky humor.

5:57 PM  
Anonymous brandon hunt said...

Excellent, man! Very well written and entertaining! You're doing good work. Atheists need to stand up and be loud now. Even though the christians like to pretend they're the ones who are persecuted, we need continue the fight. They are the persecutors. They are the deniers. They are the pharisees that even Jesus warned about.

7:10 PM  
Anonymous KylennBlack said...

The creation "museum" belongs between the Flat Earth Society Archive and the Center For Holocaust Denial.

Ah, Rob. Thanks for taking one for the team. If I were in the area I might want to go in for a laugh but that would mean paying admission and, thus, putting money in those retards' coffers.

7:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I live in Northern Ky where this museum is located. I think that it is a terrible, terrible thing. We Liberal Kentuckians (and trust me there actually are more than you think) have to deal daily with terrible rednecks, republicans and the stigma of good ole' hillbilly racism on a daily basis. But this museum actually existing, sets us back even further in time than we are already living. The worst part is the guards. They actually have armed guards and K-9 dogs to secure the place. (I am not kidding). You guys are lucky you did not get escorted forcibly out. Since they are a private -and not public- facility they are allowed to do whatever they want. At the "public" Natural History Museum in Cincinnati the creationist idiots come to heckle and cause trouble in general. But in their museum there is no tolerance at all for any such behavior. Seems like a double standard to me. But that is the world they live in as you so accurately explained in your article. Good post!

7:41 PM  
Anonymous Michael Parker said...

@ marcus a

I apologize if I offended you somehow. I must not have worded my post correctly. I merely wanted to express that when it comes to a person's beliefs (whether about politics or religion for that matter), in America we do not approach others with respect and civility. I do not care if you disagree with my beliefs and do not find them sacred (I am not a 'Christian', by the way - when I referred to 'we' I meant humanity as a whole), however I think we could all learn something from each other if we listened and treated each other with civility rather than sweeping generalizations such as "these idiots" which has been repeated throughout these posts.

I used the analogy to thunder and lightning, because scientists do not understand the system in its entirety (this, according to an online article on I'm not sure what the qualification to become a member of the scientific community is, but I am subscribed to Discover magazine and Scientific America so I think that at least puts my foot in the door?

I apologize for wording my post incorrectly. I just wanted to express that we should at least try to treat each other with civility and manners.

As Plato said: "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."

8:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i might be a drinking, cussing, pot-smoking, rock n' roll listening, queer-loving, sex before marriage having, democrat-voting, peace-loving, pro-choice-ing sinner but i still believe in the right to believing whatever the hell you want. just keep it out of the govt. and stop fucking with the children! for pete's sake!

as a side note- i'm a proud, hootin' and hollerin' lifetime resident of the bluegrass state. it's my home and i love it. please remember that crazy people are a regular fixture the world over! come visit sometime!

9:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It may be crazy, but so are the many theories of the world. Nothing can be proven for sure. Thats why they are called thories. Even scientists today are finding flaws in darwin's theory. Everyone has the right to believe what they want to believe, that is what makes this country so great, but to classify people as redneck, sister fuckers just because of a belief in a THEORY, as crazy as it may be is their inherrent right. That would be the same as me calling all darwin supporters monkey fuckers, which is completely unfounded. We should all be more tolerant.....

9:45 PM  
Blogger Ratexla Kettleburn aka Yoze said...

I'm re-posting :)

This looks like a good read too:

11:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

These guys make the Timecube guy seem down right reasonable.

12:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This whole article is just a hateful rant from a person who obviously hates christians and has no understanding of the creationist position.
The author has not countered a single creationist point with factual (or any kind of) science. Instead, he simply attacks the people involved. (See his pathetic and shameful attack on Ken Ham as an "evil Abe Lincoln" who "eats fetuses to sustain his life force".
The author also misrepresents christians, putting up many strawmen so he can knock them down. Pathetic way to defend your point of view dude.

1:14 AM  
Anonymous Nemanja said...

lol So his attack on Ken Ham was shameful, but Ken Ham's indoctrination is not? It's legitimate?
The scary thing is - they're spreading. I saw one of their promotional videos on a local TV here in Serbia. It was hilarious, and upsetting, as well, because it was addressing children specifically.

3:47 AM  
Anonymous Nemanja said...

TV station, that is. :D

3:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nice use of 'twat,' an underutilised insult that needs to be used worldwide. I'd like to think dragon's existed purely becaused of the girl in 'American Gods' that says jade is crystalised dragon jism. Oh yeah, insightful, verbose, damning etc etc

4:25 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

On my way back from a National biological honor society conference, I saw the signs for this place. I'm so upset I didn't stop now! I probably would have just been kicked out anyway, though; it's just as well.

6:38 AM  
Blogger Rob said...

Wow, it's gotten awful noisy in here. I knew I'd ruffle some feathers with this one, but the Digg traffic really took it up a notch. Good to know I've still got it!

Some miscellaneous comments/responses/rebuttals:

Dear Christians: Before you storm in here and get all defensive and call me a hate-monger, READ THE ARTICLE. I'm having a great deal of fun snickering at the most fringe and fanatical of Christian groups, but I am NOT attacking Christianity as a whole, or God, or religion. And if you want to get technical, I'm not even attacking the idea that God created life, or even, for that matter, saying that evolution is a fact. My complaint here, and if you'd read the article with an open mind I think you'd find this very clear, is people who flatly deny absolute HARD SCIENTIFIC FACTS. Not evolution, even, but the age of the earth, the lineage of dinosaurs, geologic formations, the history of human civilization... We KNOW all of those things. We have proven them with rigorously tested evidence over and over again. Again, I'm not even talking about evolution - BASIC FACTS about our world that these Young Earth Creationists pass off as malleable theories.

People of faith who are grumpy about the whole evolution thing love to treat science as if it works the same as faith. They try to fault it because it utilizes "theories" (their favorite word) and so it could be proven wrong. But that's the key, right there. It COULD be proven wrong - ANY ASPECT of science could be proven wrong, and that's what makes science as strong as it is. This delusional notion that people like Ken Ham support, that there is an "evolutionist agenda"... The thing about science is that there is EVERY MOTIVATION to prove evolution wrong! Nothing is more of an achievement in the world of science than coming up with proof for a new theory, a new process, a new scientific model. If a scientist tomorrow came up with indisputable proof that evolution is wrong and we all grew from seeds in the ground, he'd win the nobel prize, and the scientific community would be obliged to rethink everything. It can do that - it can change all the rules based on new evidence, and there's a healthy competitiveness out there among researchers that nurtures that process of ever-changing ideas... but there HAS to be evidence. Religion, on the other hand, CANNOT change its rules. You have a book, and that's it, and you can squabble amongst each other about what the book means, but to some degree or another you have to make everything fit with that book, even if it means bending hard facts to laughable extremes. Finding a good balance between the guidance of your book and fitting its teachings into the REAL world is probably what God had in mind, if He's out there.

So, the thing to understand is that "believing" in science is not the same thing as believing in the Bible. It's not based on faith. It could all change tomorrow - all the rules could change with the right evidence. And despite what you may think, that DOESN'T mean it's a fallible, uncertain process - rather, its ability to change and its burden of proof makes it incredibly, incredibly solid. You could say that science adapts, or EVOLVES, its ideas, and that's why it works so well. Sounds like something else I know...

Anyway, my belief in evolution is simple: It is, by far, the very best evidence that millions of scientists have agreed upon over years and years of grueling testing and research. Darwin isn't a prophet - he's not some guy who had a crackpot idea that everyone just agrees with because they like it. He had an idea that was revolutionary at the time, and it's been tested and challenged rigorously for hundreds of years, and it's CHANGED since the original idea, and all the evidence out there overwhelmingly supports the current model of evolutionary science.

But there are still plenty of unanswered questions, and plenty of mysteries. There are MANY, MANY places to insert God into the equation, and many scientists do. Maybe God started the process of life. May God created the universe. Maybe God has been guiding evolution. Maybe God was getting bored with dinosaurs and monkeys and got involved around the time humans started to evolve, because he wanted a smarter species. I'm a scientist, not an atheist. Being a devout atheist, in the strict sense of the word, is as flawed as being devoutly religious. Science can neither prove nor disprove God, so I, for one, am open to any possibilities. But when your devotion to a book becomes so fanatical that you will blatantly ignore hard scientific facts, and rely on your lack of knowledge about science and the natural world as a means of preserving your faith, and then spread your lies and manipulations about our world and our history to your impressionable children, planting in them seeds of skepticism about our hard-won discoveries and achievements... Then really, go fuck yourself, you're only harming society.

So to all the knee-jerkers, please just stop and read the article before you bring your own set of defense mechanisms to the table. Unless you're a Young Earth Creationist - and I suspect very few people commenting here are - then very little of this rant is directed at you.

8:35 AM  
Blogger Rob said...

P.S. - Before you call something a "straw man" attack, try looking up what it means. If I were distorting Ken Ham's views to attack all of Christianity, that would probably qualify. Instead, I'm making fun of Ken Ham and YEC views to express my feelings about YECs. If you want to see great examples of straw man attacks, watch the Ken Ham videos I posted. He does it over and over again with regards to evolution and science when talking to those kids. Shameful.

8:49 AM  
Anonymous Alik Paz said...

Wow. I seriously love you Rob.

This world has to come to an end soon.

remember kids, evolution is bullshit : D

12:02 PM  
Anonymous James said...

ok stud...since you're so up-to-date about how the world began, what's your take? Have you officially figured out how it came into being? If so, I'm pretty sure you would be doing more than just complaining about research, or experiments, or perhaps winning the Nobel Prize for something.. I feel incredibly sorry for you.

12:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This might make you feel better:

3:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

He will not be able to deny the facts that he has deliberately rejected in the end. There will be only two things continuously on his mind: water and attempting to talk God into allowing him to go back to tell others of the horror to come. So be it.

3:54 PM  
Anonymous Shawn D said...

Good article, I was a little worried you were weaving a tangled web at first but it all unravelled rather nicely. I haven't bothered reading the other comments but I'm certain you must have a had few angry Christian rants. Anyways, that animatronic child looks like a filipino Linda Blair and Adam reminds me of Eric Bana from Troy. As a former Mormon I heard a lot of explanations (or lack of them) for the existence of dinosaurs and carbon dating saying the Earth was a million years old. They usually involved saying that the "days" the earth was created in actually meant time periods instead of literal days or that God used second hand rock from other worlds to create this once, hence fossils. I also find it funny that Christian fundamentalists can take the Old Testament completely literally but can ignore the new testament when Jesus says things like "Love they neighbor as thyself" or "turn the other cheek" when they're trying to rationalize invading other countries for their oil. Body counts don't matter when they're non white heathens I guess. Anyways I'm late for church, and the turtle God gets pissed when that happens.

4:01 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

Why do we have tailbones and other useless body parts. Why would a god who creates everyone so perfectly put random parts in the human body? I want Ken Ham to explain this to me, preferably in the form of a country song

5:06 PM  
Blogger Ari Braginsky said...

Well said Rob. Almost up to 2000 diggs.

5:36 PM  
Anonymous Rachel said...

Hehe, took a picture of this weeks ago at wegmans and felt like it needed to be posted.¤t=jesuscandle.jpg

6:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

geez, man. calm the fuck down. i'm not a yec, but this article still irrated me. you realize that when you go on rants like this about intolerant christians it only makes you just as intolerant, right? i'm not defending them, but nobody's holding a gun to your head and forcing you to walk through this place. why don't you just leave well enough alone?

7:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Rob, Your mother never taught you manners did she?

7:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

RE the two comments above: why is he not allowed to have a strong opinion just because it's negative? he obviously feels these people are harmful because of their attacks on science and indoctrination of children, so he certainly has a right to look into what they're up to and rag on them for it. if it were some kind of cult no one would be offended, but because it's part of an established religion everyone is supposed to just be "tolerant," even when they take things way too far and want to wage war on science. no one complains at the attacks on scientology, but god forbid you say anything negative about christianity, even the crazy parts of it like YECs. these people think of themselves in a war with secular society and basic foundations of science. are secular people not allowed to fight back?

8:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

and it's not like he's "fighting" at all. just taking the piss at the YECs and putting them in their place, and having fun with it as well. happens all the time on the internet, just move along if it offends you.

8:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was kicked out of sunday school because I passed a little gas with sound of course. Aparently, no one enjoyed the millions of tiny balls of POOP floating in the air.. Don't miss it at all!

9:09 PM  
Blogger Niko said...

Amen Rob. People need to stop injecting their religious dogmas into science. Period. The alleged "flaws" that creationists put forth are based on misconceptions, misunderstandings of the theory of evolution...along with fanaticism.
I think people also forget that evolution doesn't explain the orgin of life, rather how we changed after we came to be- which is still a mystery.

9:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Interesting report on the Museum. One suggestion for additional detail, one comment. The Tree that Adam & Eve were supposed to avoid was, I believe, the Tree of Knowledge. Why would dog want to keep them from Knowledge ? Notice it was not the tree of off-colour jokes, bigotry, child abuse, personal hygiene failure, or something like that. It was Knowledge dog wanted to keep us away from. Hmmmm. Second, I suggest you remove as much of the profanity and scatological comments as possible. You will lose readers, and not impress those in the middle ground on this subject.

3:35 AM  
Blogger Juanlu said...

Those people just skip the most important process of science, empirical proof. This is an imitation of science, something that should be banned by the governments and not be taught at schools or "museums".
Cannot imagine what a gay guy must face living in those bible belt areas.

Liberalism has created this kind of people that feels empowered enough to argue rational positions and logic just because they can.

Treating them as equals and trying to persuade them just does not work, for if you get into discussing stuff like faith and god you are missing from the very beginning. There is only a way to isolate them: making fun of them or just forcing them from govs to TFSU for they are dangerous for society.

Great article indeed, may the farce be with you.

4:24 AM  
Blogger Dan said...

There's a great spoof of the Kirk Cameron/Ray Comfort banana thing on the Geologic Podcast ( The most recent live episode has a new live version. It's performed by podcasters George Hrab & Soccergirl.

Direct link:

The spoof is called "THE WAY OF YAHWEH." Hilarious...


6:50 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That little girl is so creepy. I expected her eyes to start glowing red & sparks to shoot out. And why is she looking at the dino's butt? These people are perverts, I tells ya!

6:53 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, just wow, brilliant post Rob. Has anyone else seen Jesus camp? That is some scary shit right there. And to think one of those little kids might be a senator or even the president 30 40 years from now.

10:39 AM  
Blogger Godless Geek said...

You know, I don't usually feed the trolls, but jorgipogi is too tempting to pass up. I don't expect any of this to sink in with him, but here's hoping someone on the fence will read this and actually get something out of it.

The bottom line is that you are just as brainwashed as they are. Scientists still believe in God. They might not all believe but most do. You are JUST like the creationists. You believe in evolution with close eyes just like they believe in creationism. There is nothing wrong with people believing in creationism and in science at the same time. There is no need to disenfranchise any of them. THEY BOTH HAVE THEIR LIES. If you CAN believe in dinosaurs, why can't I believe in creationism.

I don't "believe" in evolution. Not in the sense you are implying. I believe that evolution by natural selection is the best explanation for the diversity of life in the modern biosphere because 150 years of research has consistently proven it. You also seem to be attempting to represent science as something it isn't. Science isn't a set of facts. Facts are simply facts. Science is a method of discovering how the natural world works, and it does so without prejudice. There have been bad scientific theories in the past, but science isn't fixed in stone like religion. Science by definition adjusts itself naturally as new information is presented. While modern evolutionary theory is overall the same basic idea presented by Charles Darwin, Darwin would little recognize the specifics of the modern theory. It has been refined and revised over time through observational evidence and rigorous experimentation to explain many aspects which Darwin himself had no explanation for. That is real science. Creationism is faith in a 5000+ year old myth.


You know nothing about evolution. Absolutely nothing. This in no way, shape or form resembles evolutionary theory. You have committed a straw-man fallacy. Evolution is not directed. No organism "decides" to evolve. An organism which is able to reproduce does, and one which is unable to doesn't. If an organism has a mutation that makes it better able to reproduce, it will produce more offspring and have a chance of passing that beneficial mutation on. Over time, these mutations stack up and fundamentally change species. There is no direction. There is no end goal. We are not the pinnacle of life on this planet. Every species on this planet is just as evolved as we are, each filling their own niche ecologically. We are actually quite deficient in many areas as a species, but we make up for it with our intelligence...that's our major evolutionary advantage. The more intelligent our ancestors became, the more likely they were able to outlive their competition, reach reproductive age, and pass on their genes. The more intelligent would have more chance to reach reproductive age and thus, our species became more intelligent over time. It's a simple, elegant, and in my opinion, profoundly beautiful process.


The only people I ever heard say that are the very rare religious who prescribe to biblical geocentricism. You are kinda right though, but you still managed to get things profoundly wrong. Not only does the universe not have a center, it will never have a center.

PEOPLE SHOULD BE REMINDED THAT THESE PEOPLE WHO BELIEVE IN SCIENCE WITH CLOSED EYES AND TRY TO DISCARD CREATIONISM WERE THE ONES WHO BEGAN KILLING THE JEWS IN THE NAZI TIMES. THEY WERE CALLED THE ANTI-CHRIST. But, in reality what they should have been called was anti-creationism. It WAS THE MAIN REASON FOR the NAZI KILLINGs. They wanted to kill people who believe in God or Creationism because they thought it affected the development of the strong German race. Thus, it WAS NOT all HITLER's fault. Scientists and philosophers PROMOTED THOSE IDEAS too. It WAS the main reason why THEY WANTED TO KILL THE JEWS. THEY WANTED TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BELIEVING IN CREATIONISM OR GOD.

Hahahaha! Sweet! Godwin's Law in action! You've seen Expelled, huh? In reality, Hitler was not after Christians. He may have been one himself, but no one is completely sure. It is known for sure that he was one earlier in his life, and certainly when he wrote Mien Kampf, and there's no evidence that he ever held anything against Christians. Eugenics and evolution are scapegoats for a long-standing antisemitism present in Germany for centuries. The German people as a whole did not want Jews in their country, and the charismatic Hitler offered them a solution.

2:29 PM  
Anonymous Martin said...

Superb post mate, as ever..

This is your fire breathing bartender btw.. :D

2:36 PM  
Anonymous Sam said...

The second YouTube video seems to be gone.

Great post as always Rob.

3:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

fucking manipulative museum. it's too bad so many americans today are incredibly gullible. thanks for actually backing up what you said with science though, i hear a lot of people just mocking religion, specifically christianity, and not even saying anything factual, which forms a negative stereotype for a lot of people. good thing there are still ACTUAL history museums...

9:03 PM  
Blogger McGeek said...

Human Reason: "I think therefore I am"
God's Reason: "I am that I am"

God = Popeye?

11:30 PM  
Anonymous spooky said...


Thanks for the great post. Thanks too for the comment, almost as good as another post!

I don't know which is scarier: seeing children taught to be closed-minded puppets, or some of the really whacked arguments directed at you in the comments by people who may have read, but obviously didn't understand, your article.

11:35 PM  
Blogger gracearcasm said...

Dear "godless geek"-
Thankyou,and I love you.
That was excellently put, and the mentioning of Godwin's Law gets you bonus points.

1:20 AM  
Blogger Ratexla Kettleburn aka Yoze said...

Good point about people on the fence, GG. Etc! :)
Hypothesis: The net result of this article + debate (!!!!!!!!1) was prolly an increased understanding of the scientific side of the fence and why it rocks. :9

5:04 AM  
Blogger jenny said...

Love the crazy bat shit religion tour. I was watching....could it have been PBS? Anyway, while I was putting my son to sleep, and saw Ken Ham giving a lecture. I was so moved by his speech that I actually left my barely sleeping child to find my husband and tell him that there are people who actually believe that the creation of the earth and mankind is only a few thousand years old!!! REALLLLY?
And broadcasting on PBS? It had to have been PBS, it wasn't TNT, although it was funny.

I learned the word Agnostic when I was 16 and that's pretty much been a word I've attached to myself ever since:
Agnosticism (Greek: α- a-, without + γνώσις gnōsis, knowledge; after Gnosticism) is the philosophical view that the truth value of certain claims — particularly metaphysical claims regarding theology, afterlife or the existence of God, gods, deities, or even ultimate reality — is unknown or, depending on the form of agnosticism, inherently unknowable.

Yes, I learned the word because of the hardcore band Agnostic Front. And guess what, they are still going!

6:21 AM  
Anonymous tentaclesex said...

Hey man, that should be "prevailing wisdom," not purveying.

Nice article though. This shit is bananas!

7:11 AM  
Blogger Cubist said...

Creationism isn't just a particularly bad form of pseudoscience -- it's also bad theology. You say a Christian's gotta believe that every word of the Bible is 100% literal, historical TRUTH? Okay, fine. There's two versions of the Creation story in the book of Genesis... and they contradict each other. The version in Genesis 1 says God created all the other animals before He got around to Adam and Eve, and the version in Genesis 2 says that Adam was first, then all the non-human animals, and finally Eve. So if you're a YEC, tell us: Which came first -- horses or humans? And seeing as how both answers to that question are supported by a literal interpretation of Holy Scripture, why is the other answer (namely, the answer you didn't choose) wrong?
As well, Creationism is bad theology because they're making like they have the power/authority/insight to decide whether you are or aren't a True Christian -- and an explicit part of their criteria is whether or not you accept evolution as a valid scientific theory. Hmmm. I thought all God wanted of His followers was that they love Him, and love their neighbors as themselves; exactly when did "oh, and by the way, evolution sucks" get added to the checklist? The Bible promises that anybody who inserts extra material into Scripture has just made themselves an eternal reservation in Hell... but maybe that's just one of the bits of the Bible that Creationists don't bother to read. Heck, there's another Bible passage in which Christ mentions that there are a lot of people who think they're doing His work and following His ways, but when they meet Him, He's gonna serve 'em up a nice, steaming cup of "I never knew ye".
As for the alleged "science" of Creationism... did everybody notice that the Creationist whiners in the comments are all "hey, we got lots of evidence, honest we do!" -- but they never actually said what that evidence is? They'll tell you Darwin was wrong -- but if you ask them to explain any of Darwin's specific mistakes, they'll either (a) feed you a bunch of bogus crap that grossly misrepresents what the man actually had to say, or else (b) spew mass quantities of irrelevant verbiage in an attempt to bamboozle you into thinking they explained Darwin's mistakes even though they didn't actually do anything of the kind.
"Only a theory"? Sure -- but in the context of science, saying that evolution is "only a theory" is pretty much like saying that Bill Gates is "only a multibillionaire". But just for the sake of argument, let's grant Creationists that "only a theory" is a valid reason to criticize evolution. Why, in that case, do Creationists restrict this criticism to evolution? Why aren't they also trying to cleanse the public schools of such clearly unreliable theories as atomic theory, the germ theory of disease, the theory of relativity, and every other scientific theory? If Creationists were actually sincere about their "only a theory" yammering, they should and would apply it to all of science... but, of course, they don't.
Creationists are equally selective in their application of pretty much every other anti-evolution argument they bring to the table. "Teach the controversy"? Okay, fine. Let's teach students about condom use and abstinence, and let the children decide what they want to do. Let's teach students that the Holocaust never happened & Nazis weren't so bad, and that the Nazis systematically murdered millions of Jews and millions of other "undesirable" people, and let the children make up their own minds which is closer to reality. Let's teach students about Christianity and Islam and Judaism and Hinduism and the Asatru faith and [list of 150 different religions left out to conserve bandwidth] and Satanism... and let the children decide for themselves which faith they want to believe in. What's the matter, Creationists? Don't you want to teach the controversy?

For anyone who's interested in seeing what real science has to say about things like evolution and the age of the Earth, you could do worse than start by browsing the Talk.Origins Archive. is a Usenet newsgroup that was created for the explicit purpose of comparing (and arguing over...) evolution and Creationism, and the T.O Archive preserves a goodly chunk of the best material on the science side. Its pages contain plentiful links to Creationist websites, so you've got unfiltered one-click access to what Creationists actually have to say; oddly enough, Creationist websites rarely, if ever, return the favor...
Anyway, the Archive is pretty big, and I'd like to recommend two of its pages in particular...
An Index to Creationist Claims: An extensive list of anti-evolution arguments, all of which have been proposed by at least one Creationist, accompanied by what real scientists have to say about that argument.
The Quote-Mine Project: This started when one Creationist contributor to Talk.Origins posted a list of 86 quotations that supposedly documented how evolution is bogus and nasty and wrong, and those deceitful evilutionists know how bogus and nasty and wrong it is. A bunch of other T-O contributors then got to work tracing every one of these quotations back to its original source, to see if any of the quotes had been 'doctored' to distort the quoted person's views. Of the 86 quotations in the posted list, only six were not egregiously dishonest, even by the most charitable standards. The Quote-Mine Project gathered up all this research into one convenient package, and from time to time, new examples of confirmed-to-be-dishonest Creationist quotes have been added to the Project.

8:02 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It is ironic to me that you say not to entertain these christian ideas, yet you wrote a whole blog about it...

Your usually witty and clever but I think you got a few things mixed up. I think people who read this blog and thought it was good, should go read a book or ten.

8:54 AM  
Anonymous Philip said...

Creationism is not a lunatic fringe. It is very popular, and very mainstream:

"According to a 2001 Gallup poll, about 45% of Americans believe that "God created human beings pretty much in their present form at one time within the last 10,000 years or so.""


10:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Only Kentucky would be more backassward than the Vatican. Even the catholics have been able to accept evolution, even thought they don't accept anyone having fun(ie sex).

10:32 AM  
Blogger Luis said...

Why is our society becoming increasingly polarized? I hate men like Richard Dawkins and smug fucks like Bill Maher, as much as Ted Haggard and the crazy people downtown screaming that "Jesus loves" me. At least Dawkins has solid proof for his argument, and is seen as a decent and sane human being. What happened to moderation? I guess the silent majority is being drowned out by the loud and pretentious minority.

10:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

@ philip: there's a difference between creationism and the specific type of creationism (YEC) being discussed here. while many people believe god created life on earth, far fewer believe the earth is six thousand years old and the story of genesis is literal truth.

@ cubist: good info, thanks!

@ luis: every action has an equal and opposite reaction.

11:17 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

all the people who are turning this into an argument about evolution vs. creationism, i wish you could set your personal agendas aside and read/discuss this article for what it is: an specific example of a group of people brainwashing children with false information. i don't mean god, i don't mean christianity, i don't mean the bible. put aside your beliefs and understand that there are outright LIES in the "science" presented by this museum and this group. not creation, but the age of the earth and the history of civilization. it is a terrible thing to spread this kind of mistrust of science. debating evolution or believing god created life is one thing, but convincing children that the world is 6,000 years old is a CRIME. i know the larger subject here is very polarizing, but please try to look at this for what it is rather than what you think it is or want it to be.

11:26 AM  
Blogger Amanda said...

"Even the most devout Christian will likely tell you that the story of Adam and Eve is merely an allegory - and they'd be right."

I wish you were correct, Rob, but you're not - at least as of 4 years ago in the US:
"An ABC News poll released Sunday found that 61 percent of Americans believe the account of creation in the Bible's book of Genesis is 'literally true' rather than a story meant as a 'lesson.'"

original reported

11:46 AM  
Blogger Godless Geek said...

@Luis: You seem to be implying that the middle-ground always the best response and this is absolutely not true in most cases. Here, we have facts and research on one side and faith and feeling on the other. It's not hard to see which approach is more likely to yield the correct results. The stakes are getting particularly high here because the quality of our science education in the United States is slipping badly, and this issue is the single most central idea in modern biology. Without it, modern biology doesn't exist, so you can absolutely bet this is a big issue that can't afford any kind of middle ground.

11:49 AM  
Blogger Amanda said...

hmmm, link taken out:

that might work.

11:51 AM  
Anonymous tinyfrog said...

You seem to talk as if Young Earth Creationism is some fringe of Christian Fundamentalism. It isn't. It's far more popular than that. Virtually all Christian Fundamentalists are YECs, and a large portion of Christians are YECs. There are easily more young earth creationists in the United States than atheists + agnostics.

11:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeesh... another reason why I never want to go back to the Bible Belt...

I feel for the kids, though. It must suck to be brainwashed so you never have a chance to really learn.

Oh, BTW, that picture of you at the end was hilarious. :)

12:06 PM  
OpenID simonator said...

The fact that the Creation Museum is able to ape without understanding the appearance of a typical natural history museum is an indictment of the typical natural history museum, not evidence of the inherent stupidity of those in attendance. If a natural history museum was doing a good job of describing the scientific process, HOW we know rather than WHAT we know, it wouldn't be POSSIBLE for the fundies imitate its affect. A good exhibit should use the displays to explain how we've drawn the conclusions about the world that we have, rather than "science tells us." Because "science tells us," is really no beter than "the Bible tells us," if you don't understand in at least a broad sense, the process behind it.

12:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah great article (and comments) my only gripe is that I am an adult baby - and, though strange, I can assure you that my views have nothing in common with scientology, the KKK. NAMBLA, creationism or any other of the crazy delusionson here. At least our ideas don't harm anyone. (Not offended though...)

12:39 PM  
Blogger Rob said...

This is the best comments section ever.

Simonator: I would argue that the function of most natural history museums is a gateway into knowledge - they smartly recognize that most people don't want to know all the intricate science behind everything, but will take in the basics if they're presented in an entertaining and easily-digestible way. It's a great way to engage children, in particular, and get them excited about science and nature and the world around them. Then all the gory details are out there, in books, on websites, in documentaries, etc, for those who wish to continue on. It's basically serving the exact same purpose as the Creation Museum does for its patrons, but at least the underlying information at a natural history museum is FACTUAL.

Amanda: 60 percent?? I was being generous so as not to rile up the casual Christians, with whom I have no beef. But 60 fucking percent?? Adam and fucking Eve, really people?? I still believed in Santa Claus at the time I realized Adam and Eve was just a story. Indoctrination is a powerful thing, but at a certain point you have to grow the fuck up and put some effort into understanding the world, rather than believing in fairy tales because it makes things easier. If it were ONLY an issue of personal beliefs none of this would matter, but as Godless Geek put it, this has a nasty way of spreading out into our country's education and its national policies regarding science, and that is the root of my ire here.

You know what? I don't even believe humans evolved from apes, entirely. As I've mentioned, I'm forming a new religion around the idea that humans are actually hybrids of Australopithecus and an advanced alien species. What it boils down to is that human beings didn't evolve the way they were supposed to. We were meant to be ape-like cavemen for hundreds of millions of years, living in synergy with our environment and other species. Taking only what we needed, adapting to the earth instead of forcing the earth to adapt to us. But along the way, something intervened. The real missing link isn't Lucy, but rather a group of horny alien teenagers who stopped by earth three million years ago for a weekend trip, despite strict intergalactic codes prohibiting unauthorized travel to our galaxy. These disobedient astral travelers landed their spaceship in Africa, busted out a space keg, and got super wasted. At the peak of their intoxication, a curious female Australopithecus emerged from the jungle. She was in heat, and approached the aliens without fear. Dares were inevitably made, and in a fumbling two minutes of drunken inter-species lust, the human race was born. Think about it. It explains EVERYTHING! And hey, it's more plausible than Young Earth Creationism.

1:57 PM  
Anonymous mrchaoss said...

demonbaby, my friend, you are a certifiable genius! new to the blog - thx to PZ for the link - and I've never read anything so fuckin funny and scary in my life. Pleeeeease keep shining that light on the ignorant nutsacks!

2:01 PM  
Blogger mercedeskap said...

what the fuck is wrong with the world...

2:05 PM  
Blogger Amanda said...

spend a moment reading the article, 'cuz it just gets worse.

"The stories still proved somewhat compelling among those who had "no religion." A quarter said they believed in Creation, almost a third said Moses parted the Red Sea, and 29 percent believe in Noah."

2:06 PM  
Blogger Rob said...

Amanda: Amazing. I now remember hearing about that, at the time. You'll have to excuse the temporary lapse into naive optimism that guided my description of YECs as "fringe." I've amended the article to address this issue.

3:08 PM  
Anonymous Danon said...

O God, O God, O God, last thing I heard they wanna make a similar thing in Germany as well. O God, O God, O God!

3:56 PM  
Blogger Crazyharp81602 said...

I've talked about that place before on my own blog. Instead of calling it a museum, I prefer to call it a crackhouse because that's exactly what it is, a crackhouse that sells dope in form of false religious dogma and teachings that only come form Satan.

Check out my blogs I'm doing to raise awareness of how creationists deals with dinosaurs in the most dishonest way and how it's being debunked.

The Great Dinosaur mystery and the Big Lie

Dinosaurs and the Bible A Creationist's Fairy Tale

4:07 PM  
Blogger Ratexla Kettleburn aka Yoze said...

WHAAAAAAAAA. Thanks for the Talk.Origins Archive addy, Cubist. My high school teacher showed us the site many years ago, I always meant to look at it in more detail but forgot even the title before I could do so. :B This time I shan't forget..............

Re undigestible background stuff:
But hey, maybe some genius could fix a way to present that bit... digestibly. :B

And I hope I'm wrong, but the process part is not commonly brought up at schools, is it? For example, I was just out googlin the other day and found this bit (from

'Part of the problem in
evaluating scientific uncertainty is that most of us who teach science probably have rather poor training in the methods and philosophy of science. /.../ It was only after becoming a professor that I began to realize the critical importance of teaching scientific method, philosophy, and uncertainty to my students.
As for my students, they come to me completely untrained in the
scientific method, having absorbed (or maybe adsorbed) science as a
collection of "facts" rather than a living process. They are
typically uncomfortable with ambiguity or uncertianty; they want to find the "right" answer and to know "what I want" from an assignment.'

Recogniiiiiiiiiiiise. I do. [/yodaspeak] Hope it's just me. :D But science does seem a BIT misunderstood, like when THA MEEEEEEDIAAAAA make it sound like "the scientists are certain that..." and "the scientists proved that..." Hey, throw some "95%" and "beyond reasonable doubt"-s in there, maybe. ALONG WITH a reminder that they still produce more reliable results than... other sources. Recall all the whining out there about "scientists suck, they just CHANGE THEIR MINDS ALL THE TIME" and "YOU SAID IT WAS CERTAIN!!!!!!!!!1 Well, the tv said..." and "AHA! So you DON'T have perfect proof! While the YECs say they do! YEC FTW!"

So... guess my point is... screw the science centres' responsibility for teaching us about the process, after all? Cuz schooooooooooools need to do it. :) Of course, that could turn the kiddies off science for life. :p Or not. Does it hafta be boring... for everyone...?? (Dunno, it's 1.45am again.) I know it can be, IMO, but...

4:44 PM  
Blogger trish said...

I think I love you.
Well,not you, exactly, but something within the essence of you..
Oh hell, just post more often, would you? You always provide an entertaining and thought provoking read.

8:26 PM  
Blogger Cujo359 said...

Thanks for the tour. This is one more thing that I now have no reason to put myself through. I suspect your article was considerably more entertaining than being there.

10:19 PM  
Anonymous Toddo said...

holy shit Rob, I'm supposed to read all this? But I will of course, there's nothing more entertaining than making fun of human stupidity....Scary that they really could put this kind of effort into this crap.

11:24 PM  
Blogger gracearcasm said...

This is great.
Are these comments building up even quicker than the ones on When Pigs Fly?? Come on, let's beat it!
@ Amanda - that's insane.
I'm glad to be an Australian - where people who believe adamantly in things like Creationism and what the YECs preach really are fringe-dwellers.

12:07 AM  
Blogger bramble said...

Excellent post. I had heard of this place, but judging from your photos it's a whole lot worse than I imagined. I would say it's a form of child abuse - they simply don't have the critical faculties to decide for themselves at that age. A temple to ignorance, fear and anti-intellectualism.

1:57 AM  
Blogger zeb said...

If the ark landed in the middle east, and the continents were in the same place they are now, how on earth did animals in the Amazon and North America get there?

1. Divine intervention?
2. Noah had the first cruise ship and Middle East was the first stopover?

I think YECs will probably claim something about flood waters receding slowly or something so animals and dinosaurs could use land bridges. So those animals and dinosaurs walked from the middle east through Asia across the Bering land bridge and down through North America? Is 1000 years enough time for a ground sloth and it's descendents to make that journey? 4.5 m a minute at top speed for the current sloth, but then a YEC will say that it's ancestors were faster movers. Sigh...logic need not apply.

4:10 AM  
Anonymous MG said...

I'm surprised that an alert God warrior didn't start screeching "Not a Christiiiaan!" at your dark-sided asses.

7:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

thank you rob for updating, it is within shit like this that makes my day.

My friend and I were bored in Barnes and Nobles around Christmas last year so we decided to just fuck around. How you ask? Well, we started moving all the Bibles to the Fiction section. Some whore reported us. The cop asked us to move the bibles back but couldn't help laughing. He then asked us to leave so the cunt woman would shut up. It was so worth it.

7:28 AM  
Blogger acj said...

Great post!
I've borrowed the dinosaur-and-child image for my own blog. Credit was given. I hope you don't mind, but if you do, drop me a line and I'll remove it in no time at all.

8:19 AM  
Blogger cipher said...

Also, JORGIPOGI - I'm sorry, but people like you DO need to be cleansed from the gene pool.

Agreed. I wish there HAD been Kool Aid at the end; for the good of the species, we need desperately to breed these people out of it. Which makes me sound precisely like the Darwinian/atheist/Nazi stereotype they constantly go on about - and I really don't care.

9:03 AM  
Blogger Jorge Patiño said...

First of all, what a breat blog you have here. I found it yesterday and I've been reading as much as I can. What I find amazing about this creationism debate is that it is actuall being held in the US. I'm from Colombia, a very catholic country, I went to a catholic school, and I'm a catholic myself. But we have NEVER even thought of the possibility of even debating creation vs. evolution. I can't believe that the country that put a man on the moon, the country that invented the internet, the conutry that invented the airplane is the same country that thinks dinosaurs lived with people. Just like the FLintstones (by the way, thank you USA for the Flintstones. Nice childhood memories)

10:18 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Rob, I hope it makes you feel better to know that despite my belief in god (Oh, no!!), I don't blindly follow its stories as fact. Now, unlike most of my fellow Americans (apparently), I have more than a high school education and a basic understanding of physics. That being said, when the light from stars that is "older than the universe" is obviously here and not still taking its time getting here, it shows that the universe is a least that old. You agree with me on that I'm sure. I also am not a single minded christianity-forced-on-me bigot who judges other religions without actually knowing anything about them. I have read many other religious texts and they all say the same things, "wash your body", "don't eat raw pig or you'll get trichinosis", etc.. But that is all I believe they are, stories to help people who are too stupid to understand. If I told someone 2000 years ago about tiny organisms called bacteria that would get inside you if you ate raw pork they'd call me a loony, but if I say "God said don't eat it or he'll punish you" ... well, now I have a following. So 2000 years ago comes down to this, religion had all the power, so if you wanted to help people (or control them, I won't lie and say that never happened)you needed to have a pretty good reason, a reason any idiot could understand.
Lets go back in time again, to the beginning (yes, even more than 6000 years, don't be scared, let your imagination fly). Lets say that in this time there is nothing, now in the time it took you to read that, there is something. "Aha," you say, "proof of god." No, not necessarily, but definitely proof of something. Science tells us you can't have something from nothing, so "God" just has to be something that has always been, not a controlling power, not the creator of heaven, but definitely the creator of the universe. Does God have to be a conscious deity? No. The only thing that we know is that "God" is something that created the universe, regardless of appearance or even if God is still around to this day.
That being said, I have chosen to believe that "God" is conscious. Does that make me ignorant? I think it makes me a bit of an idealist, after all, I like to believe that my morals are more than just ways of being socially acceptable, but part of something more. No, I don't plan to get anything in return for helping others, but I do think that even if not all churches help people, most do, and that is enough to make me believe in man, if not god, and because religion tells us "help others," it deserves a place in the world.
It's a child's hope, I know, but I cling to it. And knowing that you too, are a smart man, you can understand what I'm saying here and at least admit that "God" in some sense or another, is a very real possibility.


9:59 PM  
Blogger gracearcasm said...

Thanks cipher =D
Sometimes, eugenics really isn't such a bad idea.

11:20 PM  
Blogger jenny said...

Your view on humanity is kinda close to mine:
It starts with the understanding that all of the planets are slowly, but surely, moving closer to the sun...
And that Venus, since it is very similar to the earth, may have had intelligent life on it at some point in time. The Venustians realized that life could not continue on their planet, so obviously started to look for other places to live. Earth was the closest solution (distance and atmosphere), only there were crazy big creatures living there, which definitely posed a threat. So, a nuclear bomb was guided through space to land on earth (probably in the Colorado/New Mexico area)
and solve that very irritating situation.
Of course, it took a little longer than they were hoping to destroy "big" life on earth, and they didn't account for a few things that happened along the way (not surprising, considering the mentality of our current government) and as a last resort could only send out biological "seeds" and hope that their species could be continued some day.
A variation could be that an asteroid did the job for them, and waiting it out was detrimental.
Anyway, it's a sad ending for Venustians, but aren't all endings sad?
And sure, my theory is a little rough around the edges, but I'm still working out the kinks. It's gotta be better than the Noah the superhero story. How come they got all the superheros back in the B.C.'s?
We could certainly use one right now!!

6:21 AM  
Blogger acj said...

Jenny, you're only joking, right? Just in case you're not, I have a way better theory for you: Mankind is originally from Pluto, and in an attempt to distract from that fact, those evil astronomers, backed by the European Parliament, deny that Pluto is a planet and call it a Kuiper Belt Object. The audacity of these conspiring little rats!
Oh, and another theory: This one is by Anne Elk, and it's about brontosaurs - brontosaurs are thin at one end, much, much bigger in the middle, and thin at the other end again.
Think of the implications!

6:50 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

so even though the newer blogs are well-written and intelligent, i miss blogs about poop and other countries

12:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

All I have to say is this post was well worth the wait.

Unfortunately, as a "non-religious" Christian (as in, don't go to church and find most of the doctrine to be homophobic, sexist, and hypocritical), people like me often get lumped into "Christianity" along with these religious psychopaths. Honestly, the majority of thinking Christians know the old testament Bible to be primarily allegorical. "Original Sin" is just a literary concept that shows our propensity to commit acts of "evil". Evolution is easy to explain logically, scientifically and religiously. And that it's easy to be a good person regardless whether you believe in a deity or not.

I just don't understand how the YEC's don't just ADAPT their beliefs to fit scientific fact. It's like they think plugging your ears and shouting hymns is going to make scientific progression go away. Furthermore since the bible says that humans are "stewards of the earth" it is our right to continue to drive fossil fueled cars and that environmental degradation is not as bad as "scientists" would mislead the public to believe!
Some would even go so far as to say it is necessary for us to deplete the world's resources because the rapture will come before the earth is dead (paraphrased from a right-wing Christian radio host from the documentary "Jesus Camp").

Bah, science has benefited and will continue to benefit us more than we could know. I just wish the YEC fuckers would evolve already!

5:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The thing that bugs me most about these comments is the idle speculation about whether or not there's poop in Paradise, which I'll end right now - of course there's poop. I can confidently proclaim with as much vigour as the Creationists themselves that there is IN FACT a solid gold toilet in the middle of the Elysian Fields, with fans under the rim blowing cool air up on your arse, keeping your balls dry as you perch legs-akimbo; a fully-stocked library with an attendant bringing light reading or pron as needed; a Nintendo DS with Lego Indiana Jones or Phantom Hourglass sitting on the tank, the green standby light blinking at you like an old friend; coffee and chocolate on hand to help out if you find yourself in a difficult situation. But probably the best thing - a dump in Heaven can last up to 8 hours. Any girls may have a hard time appreciating this, but guys....

.... you know what I'm talking about.

As proof, I offer to you a recent story where a golden toilet, perhaps cast in reverence to the Holy Commode, was unearthed in what was ancient Abyssinia (Today modern Ethiopia). Both scientists and Creationists alike were emphatic in their judgement - this relic was authentic, as proven to the scientists by their carbon dating, and to the Creationists by Biblical references: Moses himself shat there, and both groups have the skidmarks to prove it.

For further reading, please visit

7:36 PM  
Anonymous shawn d said...

I've seen a few comments on here that somewhat condemn people from judging different religions or sects when in fact most religious institutions are based on a culture of elitism. "so Leave them alone" but let them condemn you to hell because your not holy enough to their standards or don't align yourself to their particular doctrine. BS man

9:13 PM  
Anonymous lovin said...

That's all I can say.

I finally had the time to sit down and read the whole entry and watch all the videos you provided.

It scares the hell out of me that this is going on, day after day and is considered perfectly normal!

"Ham, as you can see in the picture on the left, looks like an evil Abe Lincoln and would seem very much at home eating human fetuses to sustain his life force." couldn't have nailed that any better! LMFAO!

"I have a few questions I never would have thought of back in Sunday School, for any Creationists who might be reading. I guess I'm just a bit fuzzy on exactly how far the concept of "Paradise" extends:
- Did poop smell different in Paradise?
- Did Adam's balls get itchy in Paradise? Did he ever experience erectile difficulty? Did Eve get her, you know, monthly visitor? None of those things sound like Paradise to me, but The Bible isn't quite clear."

I woke everyone up in my house this morning because I was dying of laughter after reading that section!

Billions of Dead Things???
Creation Museum...Prepare To Believe??

I think the "rational" thinking people should move up to Canada.
We have room!!

BTW, that picture is priceless!!
I hope you have it framed!

6:01 AM  
Blogger Dave said...

60% of Americans believing in Creationism is more of a knock against Americans then Christianity. The fact of the matter is the majority of Christians don't agree with YEC. (just look at it this way, the majority of Christians in the world are Catholics, the Catholic Church supports theistic evolution)

Also, the whole argument of YEC being "everyone else has a different starting point" is ridiculous. I wonder what they make of devoted Christians, such as John Polkinghorne, who affirm evolution?

2:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love the "Different Views" poster because Descarte's "I think therefore I am" was meant to prove the existence of "God". I wish there really would be a flood so we wouldn't have to put up with these Creationist jerk-offs.

2:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The stupidity... it's eating my brain. I feel like I need to go watch a Nova documentary or something. And yeah, it's really scary that so many people actually believe this garbage.

This will be the downfall of America, not gay marriages or evolution or abortion, but mind-numbing stupidity. These people should be the laughingstock of the world, no one should even be paying attention to their ravings, let alone thinking they have any serious credibility on how we run our society. How did we get to this point? More importantly, what can we do to fix it?


9:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Umm... to the people who think the picture is refering to the mythical dragons, I think you're retards. Have you ever heard of a komodo dragon? Look it up and see the resemblence. Don't worry, it is just ignorance.

Anyway to the poster, I still think you're hilarious. Peace.

1:40 AM  
OpenID mia-delsur said...


3:41 AM  
Blogger Rob said...

I have the astute pleasure of now being on the Answers In Genesis mailing list. The most recent newsletter includes this gem:

"Many people find it difficult to believe that Methuselah lived to be 969 years old. Nevertheless, the Bible teaches quite plainly that the early patriarchs often lived to be nearly 1,000 years old and even had children when they were several hundred years old! Similar claims of long life spans are found in the secular literature of several ancient cultures (including the Babylonians, Greeks, Romans, Indians, and Chinese). But even a life span of nearly 1,000 years is sadly abbreviated when we consider that God initially created us to live forever."

This is a great tidbit that I missed at the museum, if it was in there at all. What a tangled web Ken Ham has to weave when he commits to believing in EVERY SINGLE WORD of The Bible as literal truth. You can watch the YECs try to unravel said web as they give "evidence" contradicting everything we know about human history in an attempt to explain how people could have once lived to be 900+ years old (or, you know, one sixth of the entire age of the Earth):

9:39 AM  
Blogger gracearcasm said...

Shit, Rob!
One sixth of the entire age of the earth?
Wow, when you consider that Methuselah was around more than 2000+ years ago, if he lived for almost 1000 years, he probably got to hang out with Adam! Adam being the biggest patriarch of all, he too probably got to live for 1000+ years.
So when Methuselah says "I wasn't there, but I know someone who was!", he isn't lying.

4:39 AM  
Blogger gracearcasm said...

I just went to Answers In Genesis, and my Adam joke wasn't as funny after I read it - because the website says it in seriousness D=

4:42 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just found an article that says an evolution museum might be built across the street from the creation museum. I don't know if this is true or not but it sure might heat things up a bit in Kentucky..

3:55 PM  
Blogger gracearcasm said...

^ @ Anonymous: Seems like a good idea, and a good way for people to balance things out.
But then, there could be the issue of people being more readily convinced by whatever museum has the biggest budget to spend on their exhibits, as opposed to the factuality and relevance of the museum itself.
The Evolution Museum seems more like wishful thinking at the moment than anything else.

10:59 PM  
Blogger gracearcasm said...

This post has been removed by the author.

2:17 AM  
Blogger gracearcasm said...

Also, amusing and correct:

2:19 AM  
Blogger jenny said...

"But even a life span of nearly 1,000 years is sadly abbreviated when we consider that God initially created us to live forever."

Well, what the fuck happened? Was THAT explanation in there?

6:45 AM  
Anonymous Sheona said...

Genius. Pure genius.

After spending the past 2 hours reading this and various other demonbaby blog entries, I've decided to drag myself away from the comments section and get back to work.

Rob...I think I may possibly love you!

6:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Haaaahahaha, I love how Adam and Eve are like "Oh,fuck! CLOTHING!" in the skinned lamb picture.

9:43 PM  

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